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US News

SURE SIGNS YOU’RE ‘SPACED OUT’

Much of the nation seems to be in the grip of “Star Wars” fever these days – just over a week before “Episode 1: The Phantom Menace” lands in movie theaters.

But there are millions of people out there who go way beyond being just “Star Wars” fans.

They know every single character, every plot twist, every line of dialogue and could probably write a term paper on how, when and where R2-D2 and C3-PO were built.

They’re the “Star Wars” geeks – legions of fans so obsessed with the sci-fi series that it consumes their lives

How do you know you’ve really turned into a bona fide “Star Wars” geek?

One “Star Wars” Web site, moseisley.com, has come up with a list of sure-fire symptoms of the epidemic.

You know you’re really a “Star Wars” geek when:

*You pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.

*You get your head stuck in a bucket pretending you’re Darth Vader.

*You punch out Trekkies who say “Death Star, my butt – I’d like to see those losers take out DS9.”

*Using a blue-tinted plastic tube, flashlight, four rolls of electrical tape and two hours of a Saturday night, you finally complete your own working light saber.

*You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda’s voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn’t say.

*Your girlfriend’s nickname is “Jabba the Slut.”

*You swear you saw Obi-Wan Kenobi in your Cheerios.

*You find yourself beaten up at showings of the “Star Wars” flicks for saying all the characters’ lines two seconds before they do.

*You punch out people who say, “But I thought Han Solo flew the Enterprise.”

*After hearing that “Titanic” made more money than “Star Wars,” you immediately reached for your homemade light saber and started a hunt for James Cameron.

*Your boss forwards all of your checks to the store selling “Star Wars” merchandise.

*You have a tan line from your Darth Vader helmet.

*You insist on naming your first three kids, Luke, Obi and Leia.