WHILE we all recognize that Janet Reno isn’t the fastest ski on the slope, you have to hand it to her.
She learns well from her master.
The man who lectured the world on the meaning of the word “is” as he did verbal somersaults under oath in Sexgate, has left a lasting impression on the country’s top lawyer – in the art of doublespeak.
Yes, that was a gun we saw in the house in Miami, and that was a battle-garbed Reno-raider.
But there was nothing to worry about.
You see, according Wacko Waco Reno, “The gun was pointed to the side and the agent’s finger was not on the trigger.”
So, why the hell was that little sissy Elian screaming and crying his eyes out?
Yeah, the street was tear-gassed and a couple of doors were broken down. But, heck – what’s a little whiff of tear gas, a trashed house and a few broken doors, when you have to nab America’s Most Wanted?
“We had to be prepared for the unexpected,” Doris Meissner, head of the Immigration and Naturalization Service, told the world yesterday.
Yeah, Elian’s pet rabbit is a ferocious beast.
Now, with time to digest the most unholy act of law enforcement we have witnessed since Waco and Ruby Ridge, we see clearly that the Clinton Dictionary of Forked Tongue persists.
The gun wasn’t pointed at Elian.
A finger wasn’t on the trigger.
The Gonzalez house may have been a fortress of weapons.
Elian is happy as a clam.
And, for all you faint of heart out there who can’t take a bit of “real TV,” go fly a kite.
Reno has torn a page out of Clinton’s playbook. Even when you see what you see, you didn’t really see it. Even when you hear what you hear, you didn’t really hear it.
“Using raw terror, they [the Clinton Justice Department] carry out exactly what they want and call it the law,” Sen. Connie Mack (R-Fla.) said yesterday.
Of course, Connie Mack doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
According to Clinton, “The law has been upheld.”
Those words came from the mouth of the same man who, only hours before Elian was rousted like a drug lord, had to show cause why the Arkansas Bar Association shouldn’t lift his license to practice law for bald-faced lying to Arkansas judge Susan Webber Wright in the Paula Jones outrage.
Of course Clinton’s reply to potential disbarment was sealed.
Why on earth should the public know?
Yeah, the law has been upheld.
“It is inconceivable and incomprehensible to me,” Gov. Frank Keating (R-Okla.) told Fox News yesterday.
“With this Justice Department, it’s a case of you gotta have it my way or the highway.”
If I hear Reno say one more time that Elian and his father Juan Miguel Gonzalez had to be reunited because “they have been separated for five months,” I will hit a high C.
For crying out loud, for 135 days of those five months, Juan Miguel sat on his duff – awaiting Fidel Castro’s orders of what to do.
The average father I know would have raced to his child’s side the moment he learned he had been plucked from a certain watery grave.
No, Juan Miguel pouted and gave press conferences.
But the most intriguing sidebar to this blitzkrieg is the silence of that lamb, Hillary Clinton.
Now, we know: she’s too busy to give a statement – perhaps because she’s drafting plans for the Justice Department to monitor this city’s Police Department.
Or maybe she’s busy writing an eloquent treatise and sequel on bringing up children, as she did by penning “It Takes a Village.”
I hear she is wrestling with a new title: “It Takes a SWAT Team.”