Attempting a make-over, Dinner Party Cheat Sheet will try to be more piercing. And hey can we do something about the above logo? Maybe cover it with hair or somethin’?
PIERCE PRESSURE
Songstress Christina Aguilera seems to be trying to outdo Britney by being anything but Britney. Aguilera, whose hair covers her bare breasts on her new album cover, tells Rolling Stone magazine that she’s pierced down below. Like her latest career moves, it, too, is a shot in the dark.
SPARE THE CHILDS
Prosecutors allege that New Jersey Nets player Chris Childs narrowly avoided death last Tuesday when he was mugged by four men outside of a Chelsea restaurant. One thug told another thug to shoot Childs dead. “Wait, wait,” cried the panicky point guard, who hasn’t missed such an important shot since his Knick days.
NAME THAT TOMB
A French researcher believes an empty limestone tomb that dates back to 63 A.D. was that of Jesus’ brother, James, said Reuters. Inscribed with the Aramaic inscription “James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus,” the box could be the oldest object, outside of biblical writings, to back up the existence of Jesus of Nazareth, said Sorbonne University’s Andre Lemaire. For those of you who didn’t know, James, while not being able to turn water into wine, did have a hand in inventing Kool-Aid.
POTTER HEADS
J.K. Rowling’s literary agent has put an end to whispers, declaring there will not be an eighth installment of Harry Potter, said Reuters. “The plan is only to have seven books in the series. There is no truth in the rumors,” said Neil Blair of Christopher Little, who, immediately following his statement, was burned at the stake by a mob of torch-wielding kiddies.
ICE TRY
The Rockefeller Center ice rink opened this week and became a promotion to get the Olympics to come to New York City in 2012. Young skaters waved “NYC 2012” banners as former Olympians joined Mayor Bloomberg who said, “You can’t find anything that stands for New York more than this crowd.” He wasn’t referring to the homeless rally nearby.
COMMON CENTS
According to Post wire services, Mark Horowitz, 53, of Homewood, Illinois, received $26,461 after cashing in his 50-year-old penny collection. Horowitz is now having an much harder time asking people for their thoughts.