Dinner Party Cheat Sheet is running for President as an Independent. Its platform? Free rides for fat kids.
WEIGHTY ISSUE
A federal judge tossed a lawsuit brought by obese kids against McDonald’s. “If consumers know … the potential ill health effect of eating at McDonald’s, they cannot blame McDonald’s …” said U.S. District Judge Robert Sweet. Sweet, however, said that there may be a future claim if it can be proven that the Hamburgler encourages kids to horde junk food.
FULL HOUSE
Not only are Americans eating bigger portions at restaurants, but they’re doing it at home, too, according to a University of North Carolina study. “We’re getting so used to these big portion sizes when we eat out that when we go home we forget what a normal portion is,” said Margo Wootan, the nutrition policy director for the Center for Science in the Public Interest. Wootan wouldn’t comment on whether the study gave obese children the right to sue their parents.
FIREBRAND
On Monday, Rev. Al Sharpton celebrated the life and times of Martin Luther King, Jr. with Mayor Mike Bloomberg and Senator Hillary Clinton at his National Action Network offices in Harlem. On Tuesday, Sharpton filed papers, saying he was tossing his hat into the presidential ring. On Wednesday, an electrical fire sparked at Sharpton’s Harlem headquarters. No one ever said running for president was easy.
SNOW JOB
President George Bush is still backing his pick for Treasury Secretary John Snow – even though Snow was busted for drunk driving (but never charged) in 1982 and a 1988 Maryland court found that Snow didn’t pay child-support for one of his sons over a 19-month period. Administration officials believe Snow is the perfect man for the job – able to steer his way through troubled times and withhold when it’s needed most.
WHAT A GUI
An 128-million-year-old fossil of a four-winged, tree-gliding, 2 ½ foot-long dinosaur may have been found in China. For now, it’s being called Microraptor gui. “It would be a total oddity – the weirdest creature in the world of dinosaurs and birds,” said one paleontologist at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County. Paleontologists say that if it was alive today, the Microraptor gui would no doubt be Bush’s Treasury Secretary pick.