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US News

WEIRD BUT TRUE

He almost was a has-bin. A transient who was napping in Dumpster in Victoria, British Columbia, woke up and found himself inside a churning garbage-truck compactor.

Sanitman Brad Smith, who had just emptied the bin’s contents into his truck, heard screaming and turned the compactor off – after it was about to come down a third time on the 27-year-old man.

To Smith’s relief, the fellow suffered only minor cuts and bruises. “I thought I squished the guy,” he said.

These cops were taken for a ride – a hay ride.

Acting on a tip, they stopped a pickup truck that reportedly was carrying a major shipment of marijuana. When two crushed green plants fell out of the cab, they arrested the driver and his passenger on drug charges.

But lab tests determined the stash they were carrying was hay – hay that had been used in a Christmas Nativity display. The two were returning it to the horse farm that had loaned it to their church.

A new German TV commercial shows sexy European swim star Franziska van Almsick far offshore, blithely stroking her way across the Atlantic en route to the United States.

But it’s only an ad, says van Almsick, who won five gold medals at the 2002 European Swimming Championships.

“I would never dare to go that far out from the shore because I am dead scared when I don’t know what’s underneath my feet.”

The bank robber said he’d blow up the bank if the tellers didn’t hand over the money – and to show he meant business he held up a package that he threatened to detonate.

So the tellers in the Fleet Bank in Grahamsville, N.Y., in the Catskills, did as directed, and the robber made off with an undisclosed amount of cash.

Bank employees slipped out a side door, the area was cleared – but when State Police examined the package, they found it was full of birdseed.

The firefighters were told animals were trapped in the blazing building at Middlesbrough College in northern England – so they went to the rescue, braving flames and dense smoke.

A short time later, they emerged soot-covered, carrying several boxes. That’s when they learned they had saved