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Sports

GORDON’S CALLS MADE CHARMING COMEDY

NEWS of Monday’s passing of longtime Rangers and Giants play-by-player Jim Gordon gave rise to readers reaching out to recite their favorite “Jim Gordonisms.” Here are a few:

“Vickers centers to . . . nobody!”

As the Sabres skated into the Ranger zone: “Rangers trail by twooooo . . . THREE!”

“Cleared, but not out!”

“Bavaro’s going to go in! . . . Maybe!”

“Simms throws, caught at the sideline . . . In! Out! . . . IN!”

And his hockey sidekick, Bill “The Big Whistle” Chadwick, would never call Gordon “Jim.” It always came out “Chim.” “Chim, I don’t know what game this referee is watching, but . . .”

One more thing about Gordon. He never left an arena without first going into the broadcast truck to thank the crew. One would think that to be a common practice among sportscasters. It isn’t.

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That Chris Russo was heard on WFAN enthusiastically reading an ad for an ephedrine product comes as small surprise.

He once served as celebrity endorser of the Long Island Railroad, voicing a commercial in which he encouraged listeners to surrender their cars during rush-hour in favor of the LIRR.

Of course, rush hour is a very important time for any radio station – and it’s when Russo’s WFAN show airs. Ever try to listen to AM radio from inside a train?

Then there was the promo he voiced for a Bridgeport radio station’s sports show, along the lines of, “Hi, this is Chris ‘Mad Dog’ Russo. When I’m in Bridgeport, I listen to Biff and Buzz talkin’ sports on WZZZ.”

Bridgeport is well within the range of WFAN’s signal.

And Russo was among those to read those absurd ads for the miracle weight-loss product, Body Solutions – “One spoonful at bedtime on an empty stomach.”

Well, duh. A spoonful at bedtime on an empty stomach means, with, say, seven hours sleep, you’d go 10-12 hours without eating. With or without this magical elixir, one should lose weight on such a regimen.

This past December, the Federal Trade Commission sued the makers of Body Solutions for false advertising.

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St. John’s-Syracuse on ESPN2, Tuesday, provided another example of “more is less” TV.

When the officials called for a video tape inspection of a Marcus Hatten field goal to determine whether he’d made a two or a three, ESPN2 aired a replay. Analyst Len Elmore, using a telestrator, said that it was pretty clearly a two.

But we could only see the top of the circle that Elmore had drawn around the telling, freeze-frame portion of the replay because the evidence, at the bottom of the screen, was hidden behind ESPN2’s “Bottom Line.”

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Will Scott, 6-4 senior two-guard at Manhattan’s Collegiate prep. Over 2,000 career points, GPA of 3.5, headed for college and college ball somewhere in the Ivy. Nice kid, too. He’s also the son of Knick team doctor Norm Scott and Liberty team doctor Susan Scott. Where did they go wrong?

“SportsCenter’s” “Plays of the Weak,” Friday, included several clips of blown monster slam-dunks, with the requisite verbal ridicule attached. In other words, ESPN continues to, on one hand, encourage me-first showoffs by rewarding them with highlights when they succeed, while, on the other hand, ridiculing them when they fail.

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When Charles Barkley declared in those Nike ads a few years back that he’s not a role model, he wasn’t kidding.

On Thursday’s “Charles’ 40th Birthday Edition” of his “Listen Up” show on TNT, Barkley addressed the ephedrine/ephedra issue: “I want to clear something up . . . I do take ephedra, but I am not telling kids that it is OK to use. Talk with your mom, your dad or your trainer first.”

For such a smart man, he’s not very smart. Check with a parent or athletic trainer first? Before what? Before you decide whether to ingest a dangerous substance?

So now Barkley is a self-admitted binge drinker, binge gambler and user of ephedra. While some might be inclined to applaud his candor, we’re more inclined to “clear something up” for him: If he takes ephedra as a weight-loss aid, he remains overweight while ephedra remains a dangerous substance.