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THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB ; ON A DISNEY CRUISE, FAYE PENN FACES HER FUTURE AS A MOM

FAMILY WAY

AS we motored toward Port Canaveral from the Orlando airport, our guide pointed out the Disney Magic cruise ship docked a few miles away. The kids on the bus let out a cheer. My heart let out a fearful yelp.

That ship would be our home for a week as my husband, Joel, and I cruised the eastern Caribbean.

Our entertainment would consist of Disney-themed stage shows, we’d eat at Disney-themed restaurants, spend nights at a Disney disco, even spend a day on Disney’s own island, Castaway Cay.

Feeling out of place among our chiefly suburban fellow passengers, I looked for kindred spirits. Forget it. Not on a cruise ship topped with mouse ears.

We wouldn’t have been here either, if The Post travel editor hadn’t made us go to find out whether it’s a worthwhile trip for childless adults. I’m six months pregnant, and my editor viewed the adventure as a “scared straight” program.

I was already scared. Hanging over the trip was the specter of the Norwalk virus, which had struck this ship a month earlier (my Disney contact assured us that the Magic had been taken out of service for a week and thoroughly disinfected – and that no more than 50-odd passengers had taken ill on subsequent journeys).

Promisingly, the interior’s elegant deco style didn’t look a bit like a seafaring nursery school. And while our room was close to the thrumming engine, it did serve to drown out the nonstop Disney tunes.

Not so promisingly, there was a Norwalk virus advisory in the bathroom, which recommended hand-washing before and after just about everything.

After washing my hands, I dragged Joel to the spa, where I settled into the pedicurist’s chair – pleased she wasn’t wearing a Cinderella costume – I let the surroundings ease my anxiety.

The first two days, we mostly read, played Scrabble and tried not to trip over any children. On the Disney Magic, kids are the stars.

Most parents became sherpas, toting kids’ towels, buying gifts, snapping photos, attending family dance parties – you name it. By the time we landed at St. Maarten on Day 4, we chose to sunbathe on a nude beach far from the others.

There were other highlights too – a mock regatta race on St. Maarten, snorkeling, massages in oceanfront cabanas on Castaway Cay, a dessert-plate decorating contest (we won), and crew members from far-flung places.

But our high points were nothing compared to the kids’, who get to avail themselves of every juvenile pleasure. A week on a Disney ship seems pretty much the pinnacle of human existence for anyone under 13.

As for us, we’re not planning to get back on the boat any time soon – but ask us again in five years.

The lowdown

Seven-night Caribbean cruises start at $829 per person, $399 for children 3 to 12 and $139 for infants over three months. For more information, visit disneycruise.disney.go.com.