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US News

WEIRD BUT TRUE

Christmas may have gone a little too high-tech in Kalamazoo, Mich., where kids who want to see Santa at a local shopping center are being handed pagers that beep and vibrate when it’s their turn to sit on Santa’s knee.

Crosswinds Mall spokesman Al Shifflett III insists it’s all in keeping with the holiday spirit, explaining:

“We’ll never have a line [with] more than 12 families.” And maybe less, er, “accidents” on Santa’s knee, too.

A man and a pay phone were rushed to a hospital after he got his finger stuck in the coin-return slot trying to retrieve his 50 cents.

Doctors fed painkillers to Emanuel Fleming of East St. Louis, Ill., as they pried his middle finger loose using a wooden device and lubricant, ending the three-hour ordeal.

In a bizarre case of cyber-rage, an Indiana man shot his wife dead when he caught her chatting with another man over the Internet – then blew his own brains out.

Cops say an already-wounded Daleleen Downs, 25, phoned 911, screaming, “Please don’t! Please don’t!” before being shot a second time by hubby Curtis Downs, 28, at their home in Mooreland.

“Him and her never did get along very good,” explained a friend.

A Malaysian man being treated for an eye infection was found to have a broken-off chopstick lodged in his face.

Doctors say Ng Keng Choon, 30, had apparently been stabbed with the chopstick during an assault five years ago – but didn’t know it was inside him.

And they said he was lucky to be alive as the chopstick had been nudging against his brain.

Mourners at a funeral chapel in Belgium were jolted when a cell phone started ringing inside the coffin.

Family members were so startled, they ran out while the undertaker opened the coffin to empty the dead man’s pockets.

Relatives of Marc Marchal have now lodged a complaint that funeral workers did not properly prepare the body.