Artist of the Year
Dan: Few artists have ever displayed the monumental bravery that Warren Zevon did over the last year and a half. After being diagnosed with terminal cancer in August of 2002 and given three months to live, Zevon created one more album, “The Wind.” That disc, currently up for five Grammys, is inspired, heartbreaking and often humorous (it includes a wry cover of Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.”) With “The Wind,” Zevon – who died on Sept. 7 – offers the essential lesson: life is short and only as good as we make it.
Mary: Trousersnake, the ‘Lake, Timbo, JT – whatever you call the former *NSYNC-er, you’ve got to admit that Justin Timberlake is a true star. His debut solo record, “Justified,” was packed with funky pop hits – and was salaciously revealing. With “Cry Me a River,” he cleverly and creepily dissed his ex, Britney Spears; he coolly honored “Off the Wall”-era Michael Jackson with the dance video for “Rock Your Body” – and he wisely made himself over, getting hip with the kids by doing small, late-night club gigs with the Black Eyed Peas after performing in his “Justified and Stripped” stadium tour with Christina Aguilera.
Best Video
Dan: Anyone who’s seen Fountains of Wayne’s “Stacy’s Mom” will attest that Stacy’s mom (played by supemodel Rachel Hunter) isn’t June Cleaver.
Mary: Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” was, it turned out, the farewell offering from the Man in Black, who died in September – and it was an astonishingly revealing and poignant look at the legend’s life.
Best Dis
Dan: On his latest album, “Blood In My Eye,” rapper Ja Rule faces off with his sworn enemies – 50 Cent and Eminem. Rule called Detroit’s ebony/ivory rap tag team a heap of unsavory names, charging that 50 is a “scared, punk-ass motherf— only worth two quarters.”
Mary: After being dumped by Ryan Adams, singer Leona Naess sold T-shirts emblazoned with the words “My X is Wanker.” Revenge can be sweet – and profitable.
Most Excessive Hype
Dan: The debate over whether “American Idol” runner-up Clay Aiken or winner Ruben Studdard was more deserving could have been settled if we all agreed that they both sucked equally.
Mary: The media hit the panic button in anticipation of the Strokes sophomore disc, freaking out that the prep-school boys from NYC couldn’t replicate the excitement of their debut, “Is This It?” But with ‘Room on Fire,” the Strokes proved everyone wrong.
Best Concert, Big Venue
Dan: While many speculated if grunge warhorses Pearl Jam remained even a little bit relevant, the Seattle band hit Madison Square Garden with a program of greatest hits – and covers of songs by Neil Young, the Clash, the Ramones and the Beatles. Frontman Eddie Vedder slammed on a bottle of red wine, losing all of his inhibitions over the course of the nearly three-hour set. By the time he did a stripped down solo of the Lennon/McCartney song “You Got to Hide Your Love Away,” his mojo was on overdrive.
Mary: The White Stripes at Roseland: Ironically, Jack White – who himself was charged with aggravated assault for pummellling a fellow musician just a few weeks later – disgustedly rebuked some brawlers in the crowd. But the show itself was astounding – from their design-conscious outfits and stage design to Jack’s howling punk blues to Meg White’s primitive drumming, the Stripes deserve the hype.
Biggest Scandal
Dan: Say what you will about Michael Jackson – at least he hasn’t been accused of killing anybody. As for indicted uber-producer Phil Spector? The jury’s still out.
Mary: He kicked off the year by cuddling with an adolescent cancer victim in a creepy documentary about his love of children and self-proclaimed aversion to plastic surgery, while his ever-mutating face was the subject of more than one hour-long special. After getting charged with nine counts of child molestation in December, Jacko ended 2003 by reportedly becoming a member of the Nation of Islam – and commissioning yet another TV special.
Best Concert, Small Venue
Dan: John Mellencamp’s performance of old blues songs and rarely-heard pop at Town Hall was a brave show by a great artist who didn’t depend on his hits for applause.
Mary: At his Valentine’s Day show at Maxwell’s, Beck sang tunes from his lovelorn record “Sea Change” before getting funky with covers of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre,” the Tom Tom Club’s “Genius of Love” and Prince’s “Erotic City.”
Best Comeback
Dan: It’s taken 20 years for Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel to realize that they’re better together than apart. The famous folk duo toured this fall, playing an incredibly intimate gig that made the Garden as cozy as a coffeehouse.
Mary: A tie: Duran Duran at Webster Hall made everyone feel young again, while the Stooges at Jones Beach made everyone feel old – but Iggy & Co. showed the crowd where punk rock all began.
Social Climbing Couple of the Year
Dan: Britney Spears and Madonna, whose lip-lock at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards generated publicity months after the fact. As for Madonna – she’s too old to be kissing a 22-year old of either sex.
Mary: The White Stripes’ Jack White started dating Renee Zellweger this summer and suddenly “Entertainment Tonight” knew who he was. But apparently it soon backfired – one gossip report said that White thought the actress’ weighty “Bridget Jones” persona was too uncool for him. The two are rumored to be back on, but if Zellweger’s smart the second time around, she’ll dump him first.
Biggest sellout
Dan: Justin Timberlake, for trading in his boy-band jumpsuits and sappy *NSYNC numbers to go solo – and signing deals with McDonald’s and the NBA in the process.
Mary: While still at the top of Billboard’s Top 100 singles charts, OutKast’s joyous, infectious “Hey Ya” was also heard all over promos for Bravo’s lame “Celebrity Poker” show – and now the rap duo has inked a deal with Polaroid to take the cameras on tage, tying them in with the song’s now-infamous line, “Shake it like a Polaroid picture.” Ironically, the company recommends that customers not shake their Polaroid pictures at all.
Best Disappearing Act
Dan: With November’s release of what he says is his last CD, “The Black Album,” and his autobiography “The Black Book,” Jay-Z – one of hip-hop’s biggest superstars – gets high marks for taking the classiest bow of the year. The trick is staying more retired than Michael Jordan has.
Mary: You have to give props to Scientologist and Elvis spawn Lisa Marie Presley for trying, but her long-awaited debut album, “To Whom It May Concern,” disappeared faster than Houdini ever did.
Biggest Freakshow
Dan: In September, after Courtney Love’s solo album got pushed back to a February ’04 release, Kurt Cobain’s merry widow had a massive meltdown. In October, she attempted to break into her ex-boyfriend’s house, was arrested for being intoxicated and eventually OD’d at her home. Wow. She wrapped up the month by losing custody of daughter Francis Bean to Cobain’s mother Wendy O’Connor.
Mary: Jack White usurped close contender Ryan Adams for the crown of worst behavior. After beating up a member of the Von Bondies at a Detroit club, the White Stripes genius (and usually polite) frontman was charged with aggravated assault.
Most overexposed
Dan: Foxy Brown, whose left breast has a mind of its own. While performing an excellent set at Giants Stadium this summer, the buxom rapette couldn’t keep the little devil from escaping the confines of her bra – twice. To paraphrase the late Bob Hope, “Thanks for the mammaries.”
Mary: In every way, Britney Spears. From her near-naked magazine covers to her “surprise” performances at nightclubs to her extreme shopping, smoking and partygoing to the teary, grammatically incorrect primetime interviews to the premature career retrospectives on MTV, the 22-year-old stalked America for months to promote her awful CD, “In the Zone.”
TOP 10 ALBUMS
Mary
1. White Stripes “Elephant”
2. Raveonettes “Chain Gang of Love”
3. Blur “Think Tank”
4. The Datsuns “The Datsuns”
5. Calla “Televise”
6. Ryan Adams “Love is Hell” (Parts 1 & 2)
7. Jayhawks “Rainy Day Music”
8. Nada Surf “Let Go”
9. The Strokes “Room on Fire”
10. Justin Timberlake “Justified”
(Ranked in order of preference)
Dan
1. The Beatles “Let It Be… Naked”
2. Fountains Of Wayne “Welcome Interstate Managers”
3. Hamell On Trial “Tough Love”
4. R. Kelly “Chocolate Factory”
5. Kid Rock “Kid Rock”
6. O.A.R. “In Between Now and Then”
7. Earl Scruggs, Doc Watson & Ricky Skaggs “The Three Pickers”
8. White Stripes “Elephant”
9. Warren Zevon “The Wind”
10. Zwan “Mary Star of the Sea”
(All ranked four stars when originally reviewed in the Post and are listed in alphabetical order.)
TOP 10 SINGLES
Dan
1. “Stacy’s Mom,” Fountains of Wayne
2. “I Just Don’t Know What to Do With Myself,” The White Stripes
3. “Cadillac P–,” Kid Rock with Hank Williams Jr.
4. “Whenever I Say Your Name,” Sting with Mary J. Blige
5. “Gravedigger,” Dave Matthews
6. “Iz U,” Nelly
7. “Cute As A Bug,” Lyle Lovett
8. “99 Problems,” Jay-Z
9. “Clocks,” Coldplay
10. “Disease,” Matchbox Twenty
Mary
1. “Step into My Office, Baby,” Belle and Sebastian
2. “Maps,” Yeah Yeah Yeahs
3. “Ban Marriage,” Hidden Cameras
4. “Scorpio Rising,” Death in Vegas featuring Liam Gallagher
5. “Homeless Club Kids,” My Favorite
6. “Stay Where You Are,” Ambulance Ltd.
7. “Can’t Get Around It,” The Everyothers
8. “Dinner at Eight,” Rufus Wainwright
9. “Mr. Blue Sky,” The Delgados
10. “Still in Love,” The Stills