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December 29, 2003

EVAPORATED PARMALAT $$ 'DIDN'T EXIST'

In a novel defense, a jailed Parmalat tycoon has said he didn't take any real money from his company - because the assets were fabricated in the first place. The...

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE ; USE THE REST OF 2003 TO GET 2004 OFF TO GREAT START

JUST three more days before 2003 is over and out - finished, kaput, one for the memory books (or your therapist's couch). What better time, then, to get 2004 off...

ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK

"Life of Luxury" Tonight at 8 on ABC Zero stars THIS vulgar new special from Robin Leach comes with two warnings - one at the beginning and one at the...

FLAT-OUT HOLIDAY SMASH; GIFTS OF PLASMA THIS YEAR

THOSE picture-frame plasma TVs and super- cheap DVD players turned out to be some of the hottest gifts of the holiday season. Consumer electronics experts say the plummeting prices of...

STARR REPORT

ABC seeing Double Hayley Mills and Lindsay Lohan, who headlined versions of "The Parent Trap" nearly 40 years apart, might be looking on with envy at a "Parent Trap ABC...

SECRET FIX-UPS: HIDE YOUR SINS IN TIME FOR THE PARTY

GREAT news! You're invited to the New Year's Eve party of your dreams. The only problem is that it starts in three hours. You go home, throw on the new...

PATAKI'S GETAWAYS ARE A BIT 'MOOCH'

GOV. PATAKI has repeatedly vacationed with the rich and famous in Palm Beach and the Hamptons, thanks to a powerful benefactor who recently arranged his St. Barts getaway, The Post...

WEIRD BUT TRUE

An 11-year-old boy was arrested, fingerprinted and locked up for six hours after cops caught him . . . trying to build a treehouse in a park! Police in West...

EDWARDS: I WON'T MAKE LEAP TO VEEP

WASHINGTON - Sen. John Edwards yesterday rejected speculation that he's running a Mr. Nice Guy campaign so he can snare a spot on the ticket as vice president. "I'm absolutely...

WOUNDED DOG MAULS ITS RESCUER

A Brooklyn woman tried to be a good Samaritan yesterday to an ailing pit bull abandoned in a park, but wound up getting attacked by the vicious animal. Telah Quemere,...

FOLLOWING HIS 'NO$E'; SST CONE'S BUYER PLANS TO HELP DI'S FAVE CAUSE

Not everyone would know what to do with the nose of a Concorde - but one New Jersey man who shelled out $560,000 for the supersonic souvenir does. He plans...

BAD-BREATH TEST COULD SAVE LUNG VICTIMS

People with lung diseases suffer from bad breath - a new finding that could lead to a simple test that might save countless lives, scientists say. Researchers at the University...

BREAKING DOWN DOORS; WHAT YOU DON'T SEE IN IRAQ

FILM footage making the media rounds shows American soldiers breaking through doors in the dead of night to arrest the old regime's remaining thugs. Our troops treat the inhabitants brusquely....

TAXI TRAGEDY DRIVER CLEARED

Charges will not be filed against the speeding cabbie who smashed into an East Side newsstand - killing an elderly man buying a newspaper and lottery tickets. Cops yesterday determined...

WINNER . . . AND STILL 'KING'

"The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" wore the box-office crown for the second straight week, raking in an impressive $51.2 million over the weekend. It helped...

A STAMP FOR A STALINIST

THE U.S. Postal Service on Jan. 20 will formally unveil a first-class postage stamp, the latest in its Black Heritage series, honoring Paul Robeson, the renowned actor-singer-orator-activist - and unapologetic...

'MAD COW' BEEF TRACED TO FOUR MORE STATES & GUAM

Meat from a Holstein infected with mad-cow disease has been traced to four more states - bringing the total to eight. Investigators have determined that some of the meat went...

TOWER DESIGN COMES UP SHORT, RUDY SAYS

WASHINGTON - Former Mayor Rudy Giuliani yesterday gave a thumbs-down to the new Freedom Tower design and other World Trade Center rebuilding plans, saying they don't pay tribute to the...

SHELTER BIDS TO TRACK DOWN OWNER OF 'TRAIN' DOG

The phones at a Connecticut animal shelter were ringing off the hook this weekend as dog lovers lined up to adopt "Metro" - the most intrepid Christmas Eve commuter since...

NYPD DAILY BLOTTER

Bronx Two muggers shot a man in the Crotona Park East section, police said yesterday. The thugs approached and beat their 20-year- old victim on Longfellow Avenue near East 173rd...

NEW HOPE VS. BREAST CANCER

Fresh evidence of a genetic "switch" that allows breast cancer to grow and spread may lead to new drugs targeted to stop the process, scientists say. Researchers at the University...

'AUTHORITY' FIGURE; HEVESI OUT TO CUT GOV'S POWER OVER AGENCIES

State Comptroller Alan Hevesi wants to rein in Gov. Pataki's control over the state's powerful public authorities, charging that they operate under a veil of "arrogance and secrecy." Hevesi, a...

JACKO UNBOUGHED ; TELLS OF CLIMBING TREE WITH ACCUSER

Michael Jackson calls it his "giving tree" - and admits he once took the child accusing him of molestation up in it for a special visit. "He had never really...

MIRACLE OF BAGHDAD; MURDER RATE LOWER THAN N.Y.'S SINCE SADDAM'S FALL

WASHINGTON - Startling new Army statistics show that strife-torn Baghdad - considered the most dangerous city in the world - now has a lower murder rate than New York. The...

SPRAY BUGS EATERY NEIGHBORS

Eight people were sent to the hospital, and many more had to evacuate their homes yesterday when fumes from a cockroach spray leaked from a neighboring restaurant into their Queens,...

SUBWAYS TO MOVE RAIL FAST

Straphangers will be in for an easier and faster commute starting Feb. 22 after all four tracks on the Manhattan Bridge open for the first time since 1986. The Transit...

PILOT EXPOSES N.Y. ERR PATROL

Despite the city's high terror alert, a pleasure-tripping pilot who said he got lost on his way home was able to fly his small plane through restricted airspace around La...

GEORGE EARNS 'FAINT' PRAISE

Yankee owner George Steinbrenner was released from a Florida hospital last night and is back to normal health after suffering a fainting spell. The Boss, who passed a slew of...

BUS-THIEF LUSH IN A JFK RUSH

A man who wanted a ride to the airport took the bus - literally. The unidentified 42-year-old, who cops believe was drunk, stole the bus from the Port Authority Terminal...

BROOKLYN MAN KILLS BURGLAR

A Brooklyn man blew away an intruder who broke into his apartment yesterday in an apparent robbery attempt, authorities said. The crook broke into a first-floor apartment at 600 E....

BROOKLYN MAN KILLS BURGLAR IN BEDROOM

A Brooklyn man blew away an intruder who broke into his apartment yesterday in an apparent robbery attempt, authorities said. The would-be crook broke into the first-floor apartment at 600...

BOY, 14, DIES PLAYING BASKETBALL

A Brooklyn teen collapsed and died in the playground of a Staten Island high school yesterday while playing basketball, cops said. Kenny Belizaire, 14, of East 88th Street in Canarsie...

SAVING FACE: NEW PATCH MIGHT ZAP WRINKLES

An Israeli company says it has developed a cheap, quick and effective wrinkle remedy. A thin, battery-charged patch called PowerPaper penetrates the skin with moisturizers and vitamins, smoothing wrinkles for...

RESTAURANT NEIGHBORS ILL FROM FUMES

Eight people were sent to the hospital and many more had to evacuate their homes yesterday when fumes from a cockroach spray leaked from a neighboring restaurant into their Astoria,...

WILLIAMS POINTS THE WAY ; GUARD KEY TO KNICK REVIVAL

ORLANDO - Walt Frazier sees the comparisons. He sees the chance of Frank Williams on the verge of becoming a special point guard - the first penetrator the Knicks have...

DEVS PLAGUED BY PECA-DILLO

It's this other Islander, the captain, that the Devils sweat. They were having trouble solving Mike Peca even before Alexei Yashin went out. In his last two games against the...

HERM AND CHAD KNOW WHAT HAS TO BE DONE

MIAMI - You can believe in these Jets, more than any 6-10 team has a right to be believed in, because they are led by a couple of grown-ups who...

THOMAS WON'T BRING RODMAN ON BOARD

KNICK NOTES MIAMI - Going after free agent Eddie Griffin, a power forward with assault charges against a woman pending, is one thing. But Isiah Thomas, who likes tough players...

MULLIN: NO INTEREST IN SJU JOB

The greatest player in St. John's history is confident the team can return to the glory years of the past, but Chris Mullin says he isn't interested in becoming the...

JUDGES SEE GLASS HALF FULL

H.S. HOOPSCardozo 82Lincoln 77 Don't get Vic Morris wrong: He's happy to get a win against Lincoln, but that doesn't mean he believes that Cardozo is the best team in...

RANGER POWER PLAY IS WAY OUT OF SYNCH

PHOENIX - Saying this is the way the Rangers always have done it not only doesn't make it right, it probably means that it's wrong. At some point, six years...

IT ENDS THE WAY IT STARTED ; ANOTHER COLLAPSE LEAVES JETS 6-10

MIAMI - The Jets' miserable season ended yesterday exactly the way it began 113 days ago: with a gut-wrenching loss in a close game in which they failed to make...

LEWIS STILL HAS SUPER AMBITION

MIAMI - Mo Lewis played in his 200th and final game as a Jet and most likely as professional football player in yesterday's 23-21 Jets loss to the Dolphins. The...

GIANTS SIMPLY GAVE UP WHEN INJURIES STRUCK, BIG BLUE QUIT ON FASSEL

WHETHER it's Tom Coughlin, Romeo Crennel, Charlie Weis or someone else who replaces Jim Fassel as the Giants' head coach, don't expect him to be some sort of miracle worker...

BECHT OFFICIALLY HAS A BAD DAY

JET NOTES MIAMI - Anthony Becht found himself in the spotlight during several key moments in yesterday's Jet loss to the Dolphins. Had any one of three plays the tight...

JASPERS CALL UPON MSG MAGIC

Manhattan 56Holy Cross 54 A team with less experience, a team without a great player such as Luis Flores, a team that hasn't come to believe that it will find...

GUTTY STORM FADE AWAY IN DOUBLE OT

TWO OVERTIMESPenn 63St. John's 61 Their basketball world has been turned topsy-turvy and moments off the court have been tormented by thoughts of what shockingly transpired on Dec. 19, when...

THIS STENCH SHOULD LINGER ; JINTS MUST RECALL WHAT 4-12 FELT LIKE

AS BAD as the Giants felt at San Francisco last year, when a second-half meltdown and a botched field- goal attempt left them losers in the first round of the...

HAMMER CERTAINLY SOUNDS RESIGNED

When Keith Hamilton showed up for his first training camp in 1992, he sported a pot belly and two knee braces. No one was impressed. But after 12 seasons, he's...

AT END, CHEERS & TEARS

THE clock struck zero and Jim Fassel made his last walk as coach of the Giants to the middle of Giants Stadium and embraced John Fox of the Panthers. Then...

FASSEL FAREWELL ONE LAST 'L': EIGHTH STRAIGHT SETBACK CAPS 4-12 FIASCO

Panthers 37 Giants 24 The Giants and Jim Fassel last night proved that bad times do not have to turn ugly, that losing does not have to breed bitterness. Let...

NEW JERSEY FOR GRIFFINNETS, EDDIE AGREE ON PACT

Just when it looks as if the Nets are doing fine, help is coming in the form of Eddie Griffin. According to several people close to Griffin, the talented but...

HOPE DEPT.: JINTS GET NO. 4 PICK

At last, a shred of hope among the ruins. The Giants woke up yesterday with the No. 7 pick in April's NFL draft- but, after losing to the Panthers 37-24...

CRENNEL, WEIS INTERVIEWS SET

GIANT NOTES The Giants yesterday faxed requests to the Patriots for permission to interview coordinators Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis to replace Jim Fassel and will meet with them later...

JINTS RUE PAST, LOOK TO FUTURE

Who's next? Tom Coughlin? Romeo Crennel? Charlie Weis? "Everybody's talking about a disciplinarian, but it's not like Fassel's not a disciplinarian," Michael Strahan said. "You look around the league ....

NEW JERSEY: NETS, EDDIE AGREE ON PACT

One of the best trades the Nets ever made is getting better. They're getting back Eddie Griffin, the guy they drafted then traded for three first- rounders, including Richard Jefferson...

JINTS SEEK PERMISSION TO TALK TO ROMEO, WEIS

GIANT NOTES The Giants yesterday requested permission from the Patriots to interview coordinators Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis, and will meet with them later this week. The Patriots, as the...

EIGHTH STRAIGHT SETBACK CAPS 4-12 FIASCO

Panthers 37 Giants 24 There was no final moment for Jim Fassel. No one last victory as a going-away present. The Giants yesterday lost in Fassel's final game as head...

NEW JERSEY FOR GRIFFIN? NETS, EDDIE CLOSE TO PACT

Just when it looks as if the Nets are doing fine, help is about to arrive. The Nets yesterday were getting closer to securing Eddie Griffin, the troubled but talented...