Perhaps Barry Bonds’ sinus infection finally let up. Maybe whatever medicine he took just gave him a buzz. Whatever the reason, Bonds – who curtly refused interviews Wednesday – was relaxed while regaling the media for over 20 minutes before last night’s game.
The Giants star – who had missed the last three games – started in left and hit cleanup against the Mets. Few things he could have done on the field could have topped the Kafkaesque, rambling stream of consciousness dialogue he had with reporters off the field.
Among the highlights: SportsCenter will be bereft of material when he retires; sportswriters will have nothing to write about when he’s gone; getting walked is harder than hitting; and he could not care less if baseball puts ads for Spider-Man or anybody else on the bases.
“What the [bleep] are you asking me for? I don’t care,” Bonds said. “Our job is to play ball, not to worry about what ad is on the billboard. I don’t care. They can have [bleepin’] dog-poo as bases so I have to step in [bleep] as far as I’m concerned. What the hell.”
When asked if the game had lost its innocence – one writer pointing to the 1969 Mets’ gleeful, childlike exuberance – Bonds responded: “What kid did you see in ’69? I thought they were grown-[bleep] men out there, just like we are.”
While talking, Bonds repeatedly told reporters to step back from his office. Still, he seemed more relaxed than on Tuesday, and far more than Wednesday, when he had answered interview requests with a curt “No. No. Hell, no.” Yesterday, he almost seemed mischievous.
“I want to keep you guys in a job. I don’t want you guys to lose your jobs,” Bonds said. “Shoot, when I retire SportsCenter’s going to just [have introductory music] . . . that’s it. Nothing else. You’re not going to have [bleep] to write about. Y’all are going to lose your jobs when I leave.”
He did take umbrage when one reporter said last night’s starter Al Leiter has had “success” against him.
“He’s had success against me? You must be smoking Kool-Aid,” said Bonds, who had hit .333 against Leiter. “What success have you been reading? I don’t fear no pitcher, dog.”
At least Leiter has challenged Bonds, having walked him just four times in 27 at-bats. Bonds was leading the bigs this season with 22 intentional walks, and the 505 in his career far outdistance Hank Aaron’s 293.
“They’re just trying to wear me down,” Bonds said. “Walking’s harder than hitting, because you’re on your feet all day. That’s hard. That ain’t easy.”
When asked if he might walk 200 times this year – he had 44 already – he asked “You got a crystal ball up your rear end? Nobody knows what’s going to happen, dude. You can’t predict the future. If you could, I would’ve won a ton of money on the Marlins.”