Once an idiot, always an idiot. Or not. After 20 years of juggling fire, swallowing balloons and making bologna sandwiches – with their feet – the Flaming Idiots are calling it quits.
“We want to go out while we’re still having a good time,” says Rob Williams, who met his fire-juggling friends, Jon O’Connor and Kevin Hunter (or, as they’re known on stage, Gyro, Pyro and Walter), while they were teens in tights at a Renaissance fair in Texas.
Their last show – their third at the New Victory Theater – runs May 26-31. But we couldn’t let them go without a few rude questions. Here’s what Williams told us:
Q. What does it take to be a Flaming Idiot – and did you come by it naturally?
A. It came to me real easily! There’s a willingness to be outrageous – we’re totally willing to be as goofy as the situation demands.
Q. What’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever done?
A. We were doing a routine once where Pyro was going to do a dive roll over me while I had two flaming torches strapped to my head. It never even occurred to me that he’d miss! But he did and fell straight onto my neck. There was an acrobat in front of me doing a handstand and – well, it set his butt on fire. That got the audience’s attention. They didn’t even notice me crawling off the stage in immense pain.
Q. Is it true you’re in the Guinness Book of World Records for making the fastest bologna sandwich with your feet?
A. (with pride) Absolutely.
Q. Just how much competition did you have?
A. Well, I set the record, I didn’t beat it. I’m currently awaiting a challenger, so if anyone wants to try, just bring it on. They’d have to make it faster than a minute and 57 seconds to beat me.
Q. Who’d eat a sandwich made with someone else’s feet?
A. They’d have to be pretty hungry, I guess. Jay Leno has, and so have Donnie Osmond, Roseanne … lots of people. You could, too!
Q. Umm, no thanks. Unless – do you wear plastic booties on your feet while you assemble them?
A. I thought about that, but no. I do wash my feet with antibacterial soap just before, though.
Q: Any tips for trying this ourselves?
A. Wheat bread holds together better than white, which squishes through your toes.
Q. What other idiocies are in store for us?
A. Walter will eat a 4-foot-long balloon, with the disclaimer, don’t try this at home! We also do a leaf-blower ballet and juggle knives around a little girl from the audience. We pick three girls: The one who growls and flexes her muscles the best gets to go up on stage.
Q. Are you absolutely sure this is goodbye?
A. Yeah. We’re sorry it came in the same year as “Friends” and “Frasier” – it’s a huge blow to America. But it’s time, and we’re excited about what’s next.