As the image of Kobe Bryant walking into the courthouse flashed across the TV screen, Benjie Wimberly knew the question was coming.
“Is he going to jail, Dad?” his 8-year-old son, Justin, asked. “Every time he sees him in a courthouse, he thinks he’s going to jail,” said Wimberly, the father of four boys. “I have to say, ‘Not yet, it’s just a hearing. This is just another hearing.’ “
For Wimberly, the football coach at Paterson Catholic HS in New Jersey, that’s one of the easier questions Justin has about the Bryant rape case. He and his wife, Kim, are like many parents across the country who have faced a multitude of questions from their children since Bryant was charged with rape almost a year ago. Kids who idolize the L.A. Lakers star now see their favorite player on the news every night – not for what he’s done on the court but what’s happening in court – and they are turning to their parents to help them understand.
“I think the hardest part was trying to explain some of the terms,” Wimberly said. “That wasn’t easy, even the judicial terms. He’s gotten things a little early because of this whole situation.”
It may seem like Bryant has been in court for 10 years, but his trial has not even begun. He was accused almost 11 months ago of raping a 19-year-old woman in Colorado. Since then, thousands of images of Bryant at pre-trial hearings have flashed across the TV screen. The coverage of the trial has only increased since the NBA playoffs began, with him shuttling between court appearances and games. Bryant has pleaded not guilty to felony sexual assault. If convicted, he faces four years to life in prison.
An athlete in legal trouble is nothing new, but the combination of Bryant’s fame and the nature of the charges have made this case unique. Prior to these allegations, parents never had reason to worry about their children wearing a Bryant jersey or hanging a Bryant poster in their room. He was viewed as the next Michael Jordan, a clean-cut, well-spoken role model. Now that image has been tarnished.
“He had this pristine reputation going into this case,” said Richard Lapchick, director of the Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sports. “He has a beautiful wife, commercial endorsements to an unbelievable degree and he’s got this background of being raised in other countries and speaking multiple languages. He was almost the whole package you dream about to hold up as a model citizen-athlete. To have it shot down to whatever degree – whether it is being unfaithful or being a rapist – it’s painful for kids to watch and for parents to watch.”
For parents, explaining a drug charge against an athlete is one thing, explaining rape or sexual assault is another. Sex is always a tough topic. That’s why some parents aren’t even bringing up the Bryant trial and hoping their children don’t either.
“He hasn’t asked me about it,” said Jon Tucker, of The Bronx, whose son Mark is 10 years old. “I’m hoping he doesn’t. It’s not a very easy thing to explain.”
Experts say parents should not avoid talking to their children about the Bryant case. They should use it as a teaching tool. In fact, they say, kids probably know more than you think.
“The worst thing to do is not to discuss it, because then the kids will turn somewhere else for the information,” said Rick Wolff, who is the host of “The Sports Edge” on WFAN. “Parents should answer the questions the kids have as best they can. Parents should be honest about it.”
There is no exact age when a kid is ready to talk about sex, the experts agree. Every child is different. The Wimberlys weren’t sure whether they should discuss the case with 8-year-old Justin but were surprised to find out how much he already knew.
“It was a conversation we didn’t expect so soon,” Kim Wimberly said. “We were surprised that we were going to have to talk about certain terms, like “rape,” “sexual assault” and “arrested.” Some things he didn’t know. Some things he did know. Then he and his friends were talking about it. So, I’d rather he hear it from us and get a good understanding, then him and his friends going on what they hear in the streets.”
Depending on the child’s age, some parents have used this opportunity to teach their kids lessons on the legal system, violence against women and sex.
“I don’t know when I would have had these conversations,” said Heather White, of Queens, who said she’s talked with her 12-year-old daughter, Amanda, about the case. “It’s been a good teaching tool, but I still can’t wait until it’s all over.”