They’ve snatched SpongeBob SquarePants!
A blow-up doll of the cartoon icon was grabbed from a Minnesota Burger King by kidnappers who left a ransom note reading, “We have SpongeBob! Give us ten Crabby Patties, fries and milkshakes.”
It’s signed by SpongeBob’s nemesis, Plankton, and a postscript reads: “Patrick is next,” referring to Bob’s starfish sidekick.
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Two abandoned kittens have a new mommy – a Shih Tzu named Geisha Girl who’s nursing them as her own.
It’s a perfect match for the pooch who went into false labor and was producing milk when her owner, Jean Schirf of Edwardsburg, Ind., found the two hungry kitties in the woods.
“She wraps herself around them all night long,” says Schirf, who added the kitties “burp a little bit after feeding.”
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A man on trial for possessing 700 marijuana plants says he’s an extraterrestrial “lord of light” who was ordered by a more powerful lord to grow the evil weed.
Mark Culkin, 51, of Ray Creek, Mont., insists an all-knowing being named Lord Malacheck told him to produce the pot as part of a spiritual mission.
But Broadwater County Sheriff’s Deputy Mark Weidman said: “I’m not sure if I can even determine what extraterrestrial, interdimensional and lord of light is.”
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A German scientist is being hailed as a human computer for breaking the world record in mental calculation – needing just 11.80 seconds to work out the 13th root of a 100-digit number.
Gert Mittring, 38, was faster working out the answer than an army of onlookers using calculators at the Museum of Mathematics in Giessen.
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They’re real and I’ll prove it!
That’s the vow of a Dutch actress who’s having X-rays of her breasts posted on her Web site to prove they’re all natural.
Georgina Verbaan, 25, says she wants to disprove once and for all the claims she’s had implants, insisting that when she went on the Pill it boosted her weight, “luckily in the right place.”