Hee-Haw. The Country Music Awards crowd did their best to sparkle on the red carpet outside Madison Square Garden last night – but the result was more honky tonk than haute couture.
Bad hair and bad shoes aside, we haven’t seen so many garish sequins (on ladies including Martina McBride, who was uncomfortably poured into a mermaid dress two sizes too small) or over-amped faux cleavage (hello, Zoe Daniels) since the daytime Soap Awards – or maybe our last visit to Scores.
The guys didn’t fare any better. In most cases, they didn’t make any effort to dress up. Instead, they stuck with the cartoonishly beefy, redneck look we assume they consider chic: patterned leather vests, butt-clamping tight jeans, slashed black T’s and – the worst – satin sports coats were as ubiquitous as ten-gallon hats.
Country folk might consider us damn Yankees for our comments, to which we plead guilty. The next time we’re in Music City, you can mock our Fendi bags and Jimmy Choos. But while you’re here, expect some Northern pride.
You’re not in Nashville anymore, partner.