Sylvester Williams’ business cards got him a fast response – from the cops.
The enterprising but dumb 21-year-old Kansas man allegedly peddled crack with cards featuring a phone number, an image of an alarm clock being hit by a boxing glove, and the words, “For a quick hit on time call the boss.”
“It makes our job considerably easier when they advertise and let us know where to get a hold of them,” quipped Maj. Patrick Kitchens of the Leavenworth Police.
*
Bird enthusiasts in upstate New York are driving homeowners mad.
In their frenzy to catch glimpses of a rare northern hawk owl in Lyndonville, they’re setting armies of mice free, hoping to see the bird swoop down and hunt.
The rodents are fleeing right into residents’ houses.
*
A starving Kenyan woman placed a powerful tribal curse on God, accusing him of sending famine. She chanted, “Whoever brought this famine, let him perish,” as she beat a cooking pot with a stick.
She died in her sleep a few hours later.
*
It was love at first sight for Kanchana Ketkaew, who set a world record for spending 32 days in a glass cage with 3,400 scorpions, and Bunthawee Siengwong, who set a Thai record for enduring 28 days with 1,000 centipedes.
The couple – dubbed the Scorpion Queen and Centipede King – now plan to wed in a haunted house and consummate their vows in a coffin in Thailand.
For an extra touch of the macabre, the lovebirds will wear bloodstained wedding outfits.
*
A German man with a guilty conscience turned himself in to police – for a prank he committed 80 years ago.
Helmut Bleibtreu, 84, of Herne, planted a firecracker on railroad tracks in 1926, running off when he was spotted by cops. He said he’d been tormented by guilt since.
He confessed to cops, and asked if they still had an open file on the case and what his punishment would be. Police told him the offense was never reported and was past the statute of limitations, in any event.
They did, however, warn that naughty little boy not to do it again!