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EXTREME VALENTINE’S GIFTS GO FOR BROKE

Love is free, but everything else costs – and plenty at that.

Businesses around the tri-state, looking to tap into the super-wealthy and super-in-love markets, are cobbling together over-the-top Valentine’s Day packages that don’t just say “I Love You” – they scream it.

Take, for example, the $35,000 weekend put together by the Hotel Tropicana Casino and Resort.

Sure, it’s not St. Tropez, but it is nearby and, hey, who needs that warm Caribbean breeze if you’re really in love.

The “Royal Flush” Valentine’s Day package includes a private helicopter ride from Manhattan to Atlantic City, a penthouse suite complete with (yikes!) red satin bed linens and a monogrammed comforter for the couple to take home. There are rose petals at turndown service along with drawn bubble bath, champagne, roses and chocolates delivered daily.

But wait, there’s more . . . breakfast in bed, “makeovers” at the salon, a customized CD of the couple’s favorite “love tunes” with their photo on the cover, a $5,000 allowance at the hotel’s shops for “fur, lingerie and diamonds,” and a 24-hour butler service.

There’s even an “engagement ring consultation” upon request, spa services, tickets to “Ice Fusion” and a five-course dinner with a serenade. And oh yeah, personal poker lessons.

It’s the first year the hotel-casino has tried such a thing, but with Wall Street’s young turks having such a good year, you never know how fast those bonuses are burning a hole in their wallets.

Closer to the Big Apple, JackRabbit Sports, in Park Slope and Union Square, is offering a $15,000 custom bike package.

The company will fly a couple into Manhattan – or offer a car service if they’re coming from the suburbs – put them up in a hotel for a night, send them out to dinner and create two top-of-the-line custom bikes for them.

“We measure everything to make sure the bike is perfect for them,” said owner Lee Silverman, who has created a series of romantic bike rides – weather permitting.

Their own custom Guru Maestro bikes will arrive at their homes within four to six weeks.

The bikes – and bike paths – are customized to be perfect for anyone, whether a beginner or a triathlete.

Not over-the-top enough for you?

Well, New York’s Buckingham Hotel has a $150,000 package, with a G4 jet, a penthouse triplex with 360-degree views of Midtown’s skyline, a horse-and-carriage ride – if the hotel hasn’t taken its guests for enough of a ride – and a private dinner from Nobu.

There’s also a private shopping tour on Madison Avenue, a private piano concert and an 18-karat gold charm from Tiffany’s.

“No one has signed up yet,” a spokeswoman said, “though we’ve had inquiries from Australia and California.”