SUMMER is just around the corner – at least as far as Hollywood trailers are concerned.
Calendar be damned, Tinseltown’s most lucrative season will begin in just five weeks, on May 5. That’s when “Mission: Impossible III” hits theaters, followed by megabucks sequels to the Superman, X-Men and “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchises.
The movie business has a lot riding on this season, since U.S. admissions were down by more than 10 percent last summer, and business so far this year is slumping slightly behind 2005’s less than torrid pace.
Small wonder that some trailers have been in theaters and on the Internet for months in hopes of luring audiences back.
Here’s a critical look at coming attractions for some of the most eagerly anticipated summer releases, rated from zero to four suns (****).
“MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III” [*] (One sun)
Paramount, May 5
The stars: Tom Cruise, Philip Seymour Hoffman
The pitch: Only the filmmakers and Scientologists know the plot at this point.
The review: Extreme déjà vu with explosions, helicopters, cars, rappelling, plus the hoary “this time it’s personal” angle – villain Hoffman threatening to kidnap Cruise’s girlfriend and make her watch Hoffman kill Cruise. We’d rather watch Tom jumping on the couch again.
“THE DA VINCI CODE” [***] (Three suns)
Columbia, May 19
The stars: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tatou
The pitch: The investigation of a murder at the Louvre sheds light on a centuries-old conspiracy.
The review: A corpse, a car crash and Ian McKellen describing “the biggest cover-up in human history.” Fun, but you almost feel like you’ve already seen the whole movie.
“OVER THE HEDGE” [** 1/2] (Two and one-half suns)
DreamWorks, May 19
The stars: Voices of Bruce Willis and Garry Shandling
The pitch: Animated comedy about animals that invade a suburban housing development in search of food.
The review: Not hugely original-looking, but the humor seems to be more pointed than “Madagascar.”
“X-MEN: THE LAST STAND” [*** 1/2] (Three and one-half suns)
20th Century Fox, May 26
The stars: Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry
The pitch: Prof. Xavier (Patrick Stewart) rallies his freaky troops when a “cure” for mutancy is developed.
The review: Cleverly avoids giving away much of the politically oriented plot. Cool shots of the Golden Gate Bridge being destroyed.
“CARS” [****] (Four suns)
Disney, June 2
The stars: Voices of Owen Wilson, Paul Newman
The pitch: Pixar animation about a hotshot road-racing car forced to make a pit stop in sleepy Radiator Springs.
The review: The funniest we’ve seen, with Pixar’s usual extremely high level of wit and craftsmanship.
“THE OMEN” [***] (Three suns)
20th Century Fox, June 6
The stars: Julia Stiles, Liev Schreiber
The pitch: An American diplomat and his wife suspect their adopted son may be the Antichrist; a remake of the 1976 horror classic.
The review: Very effective, rare single-shot trailer slowly pans to give us a close-up of a creepy-looking Damien (Seamus Davey-Fitzpatrick) on a swing. “On the 6th day of the 6th month of the 6th year . . . his day will come.”
“SUPERMAN RETURNS” [*** 1/2] (Three and one-half suns)
Warner Bros., June 23
The stars: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth
The pitch: The Man of Steel returns to Earth after several years’ absence and finds that things have changed.
The review: Courts ’80s nostalgia by using theme from the Christopher Reeve movies, as well as Marlon Brando’s voice over classical-style imagery. No sign of Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor in this teaser, which has been running many months.
“PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST” [***] (Three suns)
Disney, July 7
The stars: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom
The pitch: Captain Jack must pay a debt to Davy Jones or face eternal damnation.
The review: Lush-looking, action-packed imagery stresses Depp but barely includes romantic leads Bloom and Keira Knightley.
“MIAMI VICE” (Zero suns)
Universal, July 28
The stars: Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx
The pitch: The ’80s TV series writ large.
The review: More like glossy-looking Cliché City Vice with explosions, helicopters, cars, Cigarette boats and two bored-looking, overpaid stars trying to look cool.