WITH two very notable exceptions, there really is nothing better than a cheesy true-crime movie and a bag of popcorn.
Right?
And now that “Lifetime” seems to be (thank God!) abandoning, or at least cutting back on, those horrifically boring movies about soccer moms and the children they love obsessively, they’ve wisely gotten back to what they do best – almost-true-crime movies.
The latest original movie, “Fatal Desire” (is this the greatest, most lurid title since “Women in Chains,” or what?), pairs Anne Heche and Eric Roberts in a tale based on true life (with lots of liberties taken) about a couple who meet online, then hookup in person, have hours and hours of adulterous sex, and then commit murder.
Yes – this movie has it all – no redeeming social value, sex and murder – what could be bad?
The couple, Tanya and Joe, meet in a chatroom. He’s a pit boss in Atlantic City, and she’s a bored Pittsburgh housewife who loves nothing more than making nudey videos – of herself.
Joe, a divorced dad, gets bored with online sex in the chatroom and wants to make a real-life love connection with Tanya.
He gives her an ultimatum – show up or shut down, baby. No more emails without delivering the goods in person.
Tanya, a hot number if ever there was one – tells her hubby that she’s going to a makeup convention (she sells makeup from his auto-body shop or some damned, low-life, trashy thing).
Joe is busy working the floor at the casino when the sex bomb shows up – and proceeds to drive the poor guy out of his mind.
After this wild weekend, she shows up again. This time with a positive pregnancy test and says, yes, it’s his. Then she sends him a sonogram of the baby.
He wants her to divorce her husband immediately, but she says she can’t. Joe starts receiving e-mail threats from the husband who has apparently found out.
But it’s not until Tanya informs Joe that she’s been beaten and raped by her husband’s buds (like I said, pure unadulterated, er, adulterated trash), that Joe decides to take matters into his own hands.
Since I really don’t want to give up anymore of the plot, suffice to say that Heche has never been better – or looked better. Since giving up lesbianism and having a baby, she seems to have gotten sexier and better looking. Wow – that doesn’t sound right – but it’s true.
And her acting has improved. Not for a minute do you doubt that this two-timing tramp is a good person who has finally found love. Ha!
The scenes between the two are very hot, and very cool. And so is the agony that follows.
Particularly satisfying is one wildly overacted scene by Roberts, in which he yowls like Lyle Talbot when the moon is full. I rewound it five times, it was so bad.
Yup – if you’re a fan of true and almost-true crime, this is one you’ll want to watch again and again. Bravo, or rather “brava,” to Lifetime for another perfect true-crime cheesefest!
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“Fatal Desire”
[***] (Three stars)
Tonight at 9 on Lifetime