THIS just in: Stephen Jackson said he was packing heat to protect Sebastian Telfair . . . or was it Sebastian Cabot or John Sebastian?
On that note, Isiah Thomas needs to spend more of his free time cutting grass, petting animals or getting involved in any form of mindless relaxation that allows him to clear his attic of cobwebs.
Thomas’ thought process desperately craves cleansing, purging or reprogramming; more likely, all of the above.
In the last week, Thomas has unfurled one obtuse viewpoint after another; first at the expense of Little (Greg) Anthony, and now in defense of the NBA, high ground he felt the urge to take following deathly situations involving the gun-ho Jackson and the unarmed-but-fluffed (pillow head) Telfair.
“This is a league that’s survived a lot of things. It’s always been a league on the forefront of social conscience and social change,” Thomas sermonized; on the street they call his spiel is known as a ‘hood dance.’
“These types of incidents won’t affect the league, but they may affect the individual . . . I think people will see it as an isolated incident.”
Well, yeah, if it weren’t for a minor catch; when there’s one such isolated incident followed closely by another and another, it becomes almost routinely serial.
It’s not as if they’re confined to players, either, as wretchedly evidenced by the sexual lawsuit against Thomas and Hawks owners attempting to disenfranchise each other in court. Don’t forget about T’Wolves owner Glen Taylor and VP Kevin McHale being suspended a year for signing an illegal contract with Joe Smith; and yesterday morning’s DUI arrest of Kings coach Eric Musselman, a pus-packed pattern that has long since surpassed perception.
And guess, what, Isiah? Fans and advertisers are fed up; a truth that hasn’t escaped David Stern, intent on winning back the red states. A reality they’re frenetic to reverse.
Yet another fact of life Thomas clumsily cannot grasp.
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Long-time column contributor John Milich reports Pat Williams has solved the immigration problem: He has agreed to adopt Mexico.
How fortunate were the Kings Bonzi Wells twice rejected 5-year offers between $36 million and 38M? Since signing with the Rockets for two years for $5M, the 6-foot-5 forward, entering his ninth campaign of controversy, has been on the sidelines injured. “It’s been a wasted 18 days for him and the team,” Jeff Van Gundy sighed. Wells is currently on extended leave due to a mysterious “personal problem.”
Meanwhile, John Salmons, Wells’ replacement, is demonstrating at both ends (his coverage on Andrei Kirilenko Friday elicited rave reviews from Musselman some seven hours before being pulled over yesterday morning by Sacramento police for alleged drunken driving) why the Kings were willing to overpay the Sixer free agent.
After noticing the Raptors had won their first five preseason games, Alonzo Mourning decided to report.
Contrary to what was written in this space, LeBron James signed a 3-year extension (a fourth is his option) in July, not a five-year deal. That’s what I get for relying on memory instead of taking the time to look it up . . . This just in: Column contributor Todd Costello reports Greg Anthony severely criticized the Knicks for drafting him No. 12, overall, in ’91, instead of Leron Ellis, Shaun Vandiver and Pete Chilcutt.”
So diseased his colon and rectum had to be removed a year ago, Dajuan Wagner is a deadbolt cinch to win the Most Improved (nee Comeback of-the-year) Award.
Signed as a free agent to a minimum 1-year guarantee (750G) by the Warriors, the No. 6 pick of the ’02 draft (Cavaliers; 13.6 points per game as a rookie) has taken full advantage of Jason Richardson‘s injured absence and Don Nelson‘s peddle-pushing offense. In five straight starts, the 23-year-old is averaging 13 points (despite getting skunked once in minor minutes) and 51 percent from the field.
Eat your heart out, Sean Elliott!
Kenyon Martin returned the U. of Cincinnati Wednesday to lead the Nuggets to a preseason win over Indiana. Proving some things never change, Martin limped off the court after a collision, and Stephen Jackson denied waving his piece in front of Fabolous.
Far be from column castigator Frank Drucker to suggest the New Jersey senate race is super slimy, but “I’ve just called in Christie Whitman to clear the air.”