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Entertainment

YOU GOTTA HAVE ART

NOW that Court TV has decided to morph into something that has nothing to do with court, it looks like CNBC is taking up the mantel.

And “American Greed” – a new series that deals with high crimes and the low-down dogs that perpetrate them – is off to a fine Court-TV-meets-A&E start.

Tonight’s case involves a massive theft of fine art, which is one of those crimes that seem so fascinating to us normal, knock-around folks.

Why in hell, you might ask, is it so easy to steal millions worth of fine art? I mean, you just go, say, into the Museum of Modern Art and grab a Dali off the wall when no one’s looking. You back up a moving van to swipe a giant Henry Moore.

Sure, some capers scream out for George Clooney, trim and tan in a tux leading the band o’ bandits as they break and enter some temple of high culture.

But in tonight’s case, the theft of more than $4 million worth of high-end stuff was carried out by a couple of schlubs working at an art storage facility in St. Louis.

First off, who is so rich that they simply store their spare Rauschenbergs, Matisses, Rothkos and Miros in a warehouse in bubble wrap for eight years?

The couple, a pair of Midwestern art collectors, apparently never even went to visit their Rauschenbergs and so the theft went undetected until another warehouse worker discovered that the paperwork didn’t add up.

The culprits – prep school buddies David Rasch and Biron Valier – stole over 130 pieces of art during their time at the warehouse, becoming overnight two of the biggest art thieves in U.S. history.

Valier did it for the money. Rasch says he did it so he and his girlfriend could get down under a Matisse – or something. He particularly liked making love under a nude by de Kooning hung over his bed, he told a reporter.

Rasch, whose jailhouse interview is the backbone of the piece, claims he just wanted great art around him – until he too, decided to cash in.

The fun of this is just how easy it was to steal the art – and how quickly art dealers wanted to believe the schlubs who claimed they’d inherited all this cool stuff.

Imagine what it must have taken for the dealers to get back the stolen art they’d sold off.

Priceless.

“American Greed”
Tonight at 9 on CNBC