NBC should get down on its knees and make a giant novena of thanks that soccer star David Beckham was called back to Europe before it could finish filming his relentlessly self-promoting wife’s reality series, “Victoria Beckham: Coming to America.”
And, while we’re at it, the aforementioned relentlessly self-promoting wife should do the same.
If this weren’t a one-shot deal and people were exposed to her vapid, condescending behavior on a weekly basis, she’d not just be unwelcome in America, she’d be run out on a rail – whatever that means.
Anyway, the proposed series, now downsized to a one-hour “special,” is an orgy of self-indulgence so out of whack with, er, reality that you’ll sit there slack-jawed at the gall of these people who think we are that stupid.
What’s shocking is that it’s from Simon Fuller, the “American Idol” genius.
The Beckhams drive to become as famous in the U.S. as they are in the U.K. is driven, of course, by Beck’s signing a $250 million (yes, million) contract to play for the LA Galaxy soccer team. Good luck.
Until soccer can have as many commercials as football, baseball or basketball, it will never be covered as big time on U.S. TV. And without soccer taking hold, I don’t think they will ever achieve their dreamed-of status as the most famous couple in the U.S.
Tonight’s special opens with Victoria – a former Spice Girl who had the great, good fortune to marry the world’s best looking man – fretting over how much she has to do to prepare to move to America. She’s got to find a house and a manicurist! Oh, the pressure.
The announcer then informs us that everything we thought about Victoria Beckham is probably wrong! Really?
I, for one, have never thought anything about Beckham – and now, I think even less.
She frets that there are paparazzi at the airport to meet her – as though it weren’t all set up. “Maybe they thought Madonna was on the plane,” she says displaying modesty that is about as real as her hair color. Dear God.
She then introduces us to her “best friends” who, like poor Paula Abdul’s, are on her payroll – the hairdresser and the makeup artist who travel with her.
She then goes to a set-up luncheon with “The Beverly Hills Socialites” club at this nightmarishly overdone rococo mansion filled with much older women – all blondes – who have so much unfortunate plastic surgery they look truly frightening. Sad. Really sad – but then again who is Beckham to come here and make fun of these women by pretending not to?
For reasons I hope never to understand, Marla Maples is there too – the youngest by about 40 years.
Beckham, who is bizarrely constantly posing even in her own home, offers insights about how major a certain purse is or how her new phone has changed her life.
Her entourage laughs at everything she says as though they were hanging with Dave Chappelle, and clings to her every thought as though she were Stephen Hawking.
The “special” which NBC calls an “exclusive” inside look at Victoria’s larger-than-life life smacks of too much fame, too much money and too much time spent believing the hype for all concerned.
“Victoria Beckham: Coming to America”
Tonight at 8 on NBC
No stars