HOW could I resist watching a show with a title like “Mystery of the Polka King“?
I was drawn to it like a dancer in a dirndl to an accordion. The Ponzi Polka anyone?
And I wasn’t disappointed.
While a story about the world’s most-famous polka-band leader didn’t make headlines here, it was giant news in Pennsylvania – apparently the home of all things polka.
Court TV delves into the mystery of how Polish immigrant Jan Lewan rose from lounge crooner singing “My Way” with a giant accent to the Grammy-nominated king of the polka circuit to federal prisoner in maximum security.
Anyway, Jan Lewan, who always loved music, arrived in Canada with his family as a boy with big dreams. The first dream came true when he married a beauty queen named Rhonda.
While he wanted to give Rhonda everything she ever dreamed of, he just wasn’t cutting it singing those cheesy lounge songs with his giant Polish accent.
Somehow, he hooked onto the polka thing and found, to his amazement, that folks (especially in Pennsylvania, where he’d moved) couldn’t get enough of it.
He formed a band and became an international name. He expanded his polka empire into a travel business, taking polka enthusiasts to Poland to meet Lech Walesa, and to Rome to meet the Pope. (I swear!)
He also opened a shop that sold Jan Lewan show items, like male dolls dressed in sequin tuxedos. Dear God, I’d give my left arm for one of those babies.
But the travel biz and the store had huge overhead, as did the band, and so to make ends meet, Jan read business books and learned about taking in investors.
That brings us to the next step of Jan’s Polka Ponzi scheme – when he started offering a 12-percent return on investors’ money. When he ran out, he upped the return to 20 percent, paying old investors with the money that new investors gave him.
The Ponzi scheme worked for a while, and Jan was able to outfit Rhonda in a style fit for a beauty queen. But when Rhonda, who appears on camera, says, “I was at the point when no one was recognizing Rhonda,” she decided to do something for herself – and entered the Mrs. Pennsylvania contest.
Somehow, someone got hold of the judges’ scorecards and changed all their scores to make Rhoda the winner. Good luck with that, pal.
There was an inquiry and Jan’s Ponzi-built life began to shrink like an old kielbasa until he ended up in prison nursing a slashed throat.
With more than enough clips of Jan singing and wearing spangled polka outfits, plus the bonus of an interview with JoJo the clown (who was scammed by Jan and was filmed talking seriously in full clown makeup and fright wig), it’s enough to make me happier than a Lawrence Welk revival.