It’s enough to make your head explode – Team Clinton’s astonishing press release about Barack Obama‘s grade- school essays.
Yep – grade school.
Countering an Obama jibe about a certain senator’s “long-held plans” to run for president, Hillary’s well-oiled opposition-research machine accessed its multi-terabyte database – accusing Obama of “rewriting history” by ignoring his own lingering interest in the White House.
The evidence?
A pair of essays he’d written – one back in 3rd grade and the other when he was even younger.
“In kindergarten,” deadpanned the Clinton release, “Sen. Obama wrote an essay titled ‘I want to Become President.’ ”
“So who’s not telling the truth?” demanded Clinton campaign spokesman Phil Singer.
Really.
Naturally, the other candidates are having a field day: John Edwards confessed that in the 3rd grade, he’d wanted to be both a cowboy and Superman.
And Obama’s camp said it was preparing to counter any suggestion that he’d flip-flopped from his 2nd-grade dreams of becoming an astronaut.
Actually, this is all just a little bit spooky, to tell the truth.
Because it’s entirely possible that Team Clinton’s actual message was meant to be something like: “If we know what you did in kindergarten, Sen. Obama, just imagine what else we know about you. You’ll tread lightly, if you’re wise.”
And that would be ironic – given the years Hillary Clinton has spent decrying what she claims are smear campaigns directed at her.
But those complaints ring a little hollow when you’ve got your staff ferreting out your opponents’ grade-school homework assignments.
What will we learn next?
That John McCain once held a playmate’s head under a water faucet – thus undercutting his professed opposition to waterboarding?
That Joe Biden’s plagiarism problems began when he copied one of his 1st-grade classmates’ spelling-test answers?
As the ridicule mounted, Clinton’s pollster Mark Penn finally claimed the press release had been a joke, professing his amazement that anyone had taken it seriously.
Right.
It was a joke.
But it wasn’t wrong.
Message delivered.
And, no doubt, received.