Oh, what a move by Hondo! Mr. Aitch was truly marvelous last week, racking up 11 winners against just two losses and posting a pristine 3-0 Best Bet record. The surge, which obviously is working, put him a scant game behind in the compulsories and gave him a share of the BB lead with Serby, who’s renowned for his early speed and late fades.
Seahawks over Giants: Steer clear of Big Blue. Research indicates that for years the Giants have been suffering from Post-Traumatic Bye-Week Letdown Syndrome.
Colts over Texans: Comeback cyclist Lance Armstrong, in an effort to keep his name clear of steroid allegations, has vowed to post all of his blood and urine tests online. If that’s not enough, stool samples will be furnished on request. Just send a stamped self-addressed box.
Ravens over Titans: One addendum to Mr. Aitch’s incredible 11-2, 3-0 output: The wondrous week enabled him to collect all 893 “points” in the Post’s Not For Profit Football Pool. Wall St. and Main St. might be drowning in red ink, but HondoNation is getting along swimmingly.
Chargers over Dolphins: Ricky Williams said he not only was tempted to smoke weed during Miami’s bye week, but added he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t smoke when his career is over. Even referee Ed Hochuli can see there’s a failed drug test looming for Ricky.
Chiefs over Panthers: Whiner of the Week Award goes to KC’s Tony Gonzalez, a narrow winner over T.O. The TE was outraged after the Chiefs finally won a game that he wasn’t thrown to late in the game, which left him three yards short of breaking the record for receiving yards by a tight end. Awww, poor Tony!
Eagles over Redskins: Rehabbing online sex addict David Duchovny has lined up a role in a movie called “The Joneses.” Let’s hope he doesn’t have to keep up with them. That could trigger a relapse.
Bears over Lions: PBS southpaw Gwen Ifill, who has a book coming out that praises Obama, was the moderator for last night’s VP debate. The McCain camp tried to look on the bright side, saying it could have been worse – the debate commission could have used MSNBC gasbag and ‘Crat lap dog Keith Olbermann, aka Uberdork.
Falcons over Packers: Joe Biden’s wild tales of being fired on in Afghanistan and Baghdad ensure that he’ll be one of the first invited to this year’s World Series of Liars Poker.
Bucs over Broncs: Others who struggle mightily with the truth and are sure to receive invitations to the big tourney include: Bosnian tarmac sniper target Hillary Clinton, husband Bill, ex-Blue Jay manager and phony Vietnam vet Tim Johnson, Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Larry Craig, George O’Leary and John Edwards.
Patriots over 49ers: Can you believe the nerve of Al Davis, who accused the Pats of tampering with Moss? As if a fine upstanding organization like that would resort to cheating to win.
Bills over Cardinals: According to a survey, teen cigarette use in the city is down two percent since 2005, but the numbers may be skewed. Apparently many students didn’t respond when the survey was taken because they were skewing their teachers.
Cowboys over Bengals: Cincy signed RB Cedric Benson, who was dropped by the Bears for a couple of DUIs. Some teams get younger, some get stronger, some get tougher; the Bengwads just get drunker.
Jaguars over Steelers: Plop Along’s back! Elmira emailer Josh Elias logs in with some scatological commentary: “Former Man/Perp Of The Year Winner Najeh Davenport’s flushing from the NFL was short-lived, as Pittsburgh found it necessary to bring him back to carry the load. Any loafing may result in him being dumped again.”
Saints over Vikings: Plagiarism alert: Tuesday’s front page of the Daily Ruse depicted the massive market plunge with “777” set within a big, red, downward-pointing arrow. That came 13 days after The Post gave the same treatment to a 504 Dow drop, which is a clear-cut violation of the Statute of Imitations.
BEST BETS: Eagles, Patriots, Jaguars.