WOULD the real Robert De Niro please report to Hollywood, stat. The actor, who has carried some of America’s greatest films, has spent more than a decade – you could argue that his last truly great role was in 1995’s “Casino” – squandering his talent on a string of movies that would be beneath a cast member from “Saved by the Bell.” There’s no one out there who isn’t rooting for a return to respectability, but whether “What Just Happened?” an inside-Hollywood comedy opening Friday, represents such a return is uncertain. If not, Bob is set to reunite with Martin Scorsese for “I Heard You Paint Houses,” a hit-man drama. In the meantime, here’s a look at low points from De Niro’s recent filmography and why they failed to mark a return to glory.
“Righteous Kill,” 2008
* Embarrassment quotient: Budget, $60 million. Gross, $34 million. Ouch.
* Why it didn’t work: A premise and script so lame, not even partnering with Al Pacino could save this cop drama.
“Stardust,” 2007
* Embarrassment quotient: The man who once owned the “Mean Streets” was reduced to playing a cross-dressing ship’s captain who wears feather boas.
* Why it didn’t work: Playing against type could have succeeded for De Niro, but it bombed at the box office.
“Godsend,” 2004
* Embarrassment quotient: One of the few movies to receive a zero percent approval rating among major critics on Rotten Tomatoes.
* Why it didn’t work: The story of a scientist cloning a couple’s dead child was DOA.
“Showtime,” 2002
* Embarrassment quotient: Would be more embarrassing – if anyone could remember it exists.
* Why it didn’t work: If it’s a comeback you seek, don’t hitch your wagon to Eddie Murphy’.
“The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle,” 2000
* Embarrassment quotient: Must we explain?
* Why it didn’t work: Doing comedy is fine – but it has to be good comedy. Here’s hoping De Niro has gotten the laughs out of his system.