Hondo rolled to another superb performance last week, cruising to a 10-4 record and nailing all three Best Bets to commandeer a share of first place in both the overall and BB standings. And take it from the one they call Hondo-damus: This week looks just as bright.
Giants over 49ers: Being humiliated by the Brownies in prime time makes this a BBMRG – Big Blue Manhood Reclamation Game – which means QB (and future bar owner) J.T. O’Sullivan will spend a lot of time flat on his back.
Jets over Raiders: You, too, can be a member of Gang Green. All you have to do is lay a measly three against the wretched Raiders.
Titans over Chiefs: Hondo hates to dwell on his own success, but for the second time in three weeks, his prescient picking enabled him to collect all 893 “points” in The Post’s Not For Profit Football Pool. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of having two great big pocketfuls of “points.”
Chargers over Bills: Mr. Aitch feels fortunate to be gathering so many “points” this year as opposed to next because if Obama gets in, His Aitchness probably won’t be able to keep all of his “points.” Barack’s redistribution-of-wealth plan will force Hondo to share them with other, less-fortunate pool members, even though they maybe haven’t worked as hard as Hondo-damus has to be successful.
Bengals over Steelers: And if that’s not bad enough, once redistribution takes place, Mr. Aitch probably will have to lay off some of his loyal and dedicate staff, including his longtime accountant, C.P. Addemup, and his savvy and spiritual money minister, the Dollar Lama.
Ravens over Dolphins: E-mauler Ed Buckmir (junior half of the Brothers Buckmir) says the election is coming down to a battle of the Joes: For the Republicans, it’s Joe The Plumber and Joe Six Pack; for the Democrats, it’s Joe Biden and Joe Camel (Barack’s close personal friend).
Rams over Cowboys: By shocking the Redskins, Haslett has let it be known the Rams are sheepish no more, which is b-a-a-a-d news for the banged-up ‘Boys.
Bears over Vikings: Dan Rather will be honored by the National Coalition Against Censorship next week. The former CBS anchor will be presented with a Lifetime Achievement Award in the Fiction Presented As News category.
Panthers over Saints: It’s a good thing Maureen McCormick, aka Marcia Brady of TBB, traded sex for drugs back in the day. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have had anything of interest to put in her autobiography.
Lions over Texans: Now that Matt Millen (31-84) is out and Martin Mayhew (0-1) is the Lions’ Mane Man, you might assume the franchise is headed for more M-barrassment. You’re probably right, but at least the Mayhew Era is undefeated against the spread.
Browns over Redskins: Richard “Fat Richard” Cooey, a double murderer/rapist, was executed in Ohio this week by lethal injection. That’s odd, many thought he would have been put to death by hanging, since Ohio is considered a swing state.
Colts over Packers: It’s the Bettor’s Bargain Of The Week. Although it might not enable Joe The Plumber to offset Obama’s tax hike and buy that plumbing business, it should at least enable him to buy a belt big enough to fix any issues he may have with the dreaded plumber’s-butt.
Buccaneers over Seahawks: Speaking of afflictions, ‘Crat lapdog Keith Olbermann (aka Uberdork) missed Sunday’s Football Night in America allegedly because he had strep throat. He’d better be careful, some of his guests’ laps probably are crawling with streptococci.
Broncos over Patriots: It’s a shame to see Belicheat suffering through such a tough season. Maybe he can find solace in the words Joe Biden’s dad used to tell young Joe: “Champ, when you fall down, get back up.” So the Broncos can knock you right back down again.
BEST BETS: Chargers, Colts, Broncos.