MEI MEI likes a full-body cuddle in the morning, and she’s very cranky if she doesn’t get it. A full-body cuddle means I lie down on my side on the little sofa in my office and she stretches herself along my chest, pressing her back to me. Then she curls up her front legs and I pet her on the chest and chin. After about 20 minutes of petting and purring, she begins to take a long and deliberate bath. That’s when I get up and start to work, but I know from experience that she’d rather I stay for the bath, too.
While this is our morning ritual, Mei Mei will stretch out for a full body cuddle almost any time. She won’t, however, tolerate being picked up, held or put on my lap even for a second. She occasionally does the full-body cuddle when I’m in bed, but more often just snoozes for a few moments at my side and then moves on. Is Mei Mei an affectionate cat?
Of course she is! The instant I sit on the sofa in my office, she is lying next to me, pressing herself into me. She has designated this place as our cuddle spot, where she feels safe and is willing to make herself totally vulnerable. I respect the fact that she prefers to be next to me rather than on me, and I don’t try to force her into a position that makes her uncomfortable. In return, I get all the cuddling I want.
Every cat is an individual, and every individual expresses himself or herself in ways that feel comfortable. We get into trouble with our cats when we start with a picture in our minds of the “ideal affectionate cat” and refuse to recognize anything that doesn’t match our ideal.
So try this: Clear your mind of expectations and then just watch how your cat relates to you. I promise you’ll be surprised at how much affection you see. Then, e-mail me and let me know what you’ve discovered.