Hey, oblivious, slow-walking sidewalk blocker – you’ve been named Public Enemy No. 1.
About 29 percent of 2,300 respondents to a survey by snarky Brooklyn-based Web site People Who Deserve It agreed that it would be “socially responsible” to “punch you in the face.”
“Everybody hates you,” seethed the site’s Williamsburg Web masters, two ad copywriters.
“You clog our sidewalks and subway platforms. You make us late and irritable. You ruin the morning before the day even starts.
“You’re going to get punched in the face. And it’s nobody’s fault but your own.”
Sidewalk blockers top the list of the 10 New York types who deserve a beatdown.
Self-important Bluetooth guy was the second most hated. Twenty-four percent wanted to punch him because he wears his cellphone earpiece – even on planes, in movie theaters, and in bathrooms – prompting people to surmise he’s “either crazy or really annoying.”
And express-checkout cheater should wear a helmet next time he’s in Whole Foods.
He brings three times the 15-item limit to the register, enraging enough fellow shoppers to be No. 3 on the list with 11 percent of the vote.
“If I ran things, any scan over the limit would trigger a trap door under Express Checkout Cheater,” one Web site visitor wrote.
The impatient subway boarder – described as “brainless salmon people, desperately trying to swim upstream” – narrowly beat out full-volume headphone guy for fourth place in the poll.
No-umbrella-etiquette lady is also asking for it.
Three percent of those polled said it’s time for serious payback for those carrying their monster umbrella in a way that could take an eye out.
“No lifting for oncoming traffic, no lowering for the abnormally tall – just straight up hooking and jabbing,” the Web site griped, suggesting violence “rain down” on the women who employ these umbrella tactics.
Tandem sidewalk tourists who walk hand-in-hand during rush hour, and ungrateful homeless guys who look at the change you give them with disdain rounded out the Top 10.