THE thought of Kathleen Turner and Charles Busch onstage together incites delicious anticipation of camp heaven.
Who wouldn’t want to see these two dueling divas – perhaps channeling their roles in “Body Heat” and “Die Mommy Die!” – in a theatrical faceoff between femme fatales?
Alas, “The Third Story” promises more than it delivers. When one of its characters says, “I apologize for the length of this anecdote,” he might just as well be referring to Busch’s latest effort, an overstuffed, overlong and underfunny parody of at least two genres too many.
The plot centers on the efforts of Peg (Turner), a struggling 1940s Hollywood screenwriter, to persuade her son Drew (Jonathan Walker) to abandon his job at the Postal Service and collaborate with her on a screenplay for a “raw, Freudian-tinged gangster picture” that’s sure to have the studio salivating.
We see potential episodes from her scenario, featuring Busch as Queenie, a dying female mob boss. Eventually the plot morphs into sci-fi, as Queenie enlists a scientist (Jennifer Van Dyck) to clone her so that her gangster son (Walker) won’t be left alone. This despite the unfortunate result of the scientist’s previous experiment: a pathetic, misshapen creature dubbed Zygote (Scott Parkinson) whose bodily functions go consistently (and sometimes hilariously) awry.
We also see episodes from a mock fairy tale in which a grotesque witch, Baba Yaga (Busch), agrees to create an improved version of a forest princess (Sarah Rafferty) so she can win the heart of a handsome prince.
Busch’s talent for outrageous spoofery is in little evidence here and, despite his typically entertaining dual turns, the evening is as much of a drag as his attire. The framing sections involving the screenwriters are listless, even if the dialogue occasionally displays Busch’s trademark vulgar wit. (Referring to Hollywood’s blacklist, Peg declares, “I have many enemies who would gladly finger me.”)
While several of the performers have fun with their colorful roles, Turner is disappointingly subdued. And Busch’s effort to unify his crisscrossed tales via a common theme of obsessive parental love doesn’t come off.
The play’s title refers to Peg’s belief that a script doesn’t really take off until the third take. Seems “The Third Story” could have used a few more rewrites.
THE THIRD STORY Lucille Lortel Theatre, 121 Christopher St.; 212-279-4200. Through Feb. 27.