What will New Yorkers do if they lose their jobs? Oh, they’ve got that covered.
“COBRA prescription health plan, senile primary care physician and Craigslist.“
– Soren McCarthy, 38, Park Slope
“I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I think I will open a transvestite store and call it ‘Susan B. Anthony.'”
– Meg, 28, Astoria
“I’d start a doggy daycare business and spend all day playing with the dogs of people who still have jobs. Now who’s the smart one?”
– Keith Fernbach, 36, Jersey City, N.J.
“Off to Rhode Island to live in a mildewed crawlspace of a cottage, work in an antique shop and dig for clams every morning! It’s really the only thing I could do to make my mother even more ashamed of me.”
– David Archer, 23, Bushwick
“To become my boyfriend’s life organizer, chef and caretaker of his money tree.”
– Irene, 31, Chelsea
“Finally build my feng shui biz and hope that the clients don’t figure out that if this really worked that I would not have lost my job to begin with!”
-Bonita, 57, U.E.S.
“Off to the French Riviera where I will marry a European and open a business in St. Tropez and cater to Russian billionaire mistresses in exchange for oil and gold futures.”
– David, 44, Chelsea
“I will move in with my parents and spend my days chatting with my yellow lab, Hunter. We’d watch ‘Regis and Kelly,’ take an hour break for breakfast, then we’d watch ‘The View.'”
– Samantha, 23, Murray Hill
“I’d go back to day trading stocks, something I did from 1998-2006, and hope I didn’t pick up where I left off, making about $15,000/year.”
-Ben Levisohn, 36, Park Slope
“If all else fails, I can always go back to selling eggs. What’s a few dozen needles in the stomach when it means being able to buy shiny objects from the cute boys at the Mac store?” – Jennifer Dziura, 30, Hell’s Kitchen