Tracy Morgan shocks and awes in “I Am the New Black.” As he told the world at last year’s Golden Globes: Deal with it, Cate Blanchett.
On “SNL” culture shock:
“I had my finger on the pulse
of urban comedy, but when I brought my act to ‘SNL,’ those motherf – – – ers just felt bad for me. None of the cast I came up with saw this future for me. No, sir. All I have to say about that is, where’s Chris Kattan now? Where’s Cheri Oteri now? That
b – – – – can’t even get arrested.”
On Lorne Michaels: “They say that every Jewish man has got to love one
n – – – er in his life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.”
On taking “SNL” actors to an after-hours strip club where two girls started having sex:
“All the grips and crew guys from ‘SNL’ were standing around and loving it, but my castmates took one look at that, turned right around, and rushed out of there. They were all a bunch of Ivy League fa – – – ts and we’d taken it to the streets.” But the next day Morgan got a call that one person had stayed and wouldn’t leave: Horatio Sanz.
On his first DUI:
“They brought that [Breathalyzer] over to me, and I blew on it and sparks flew out the motherf – – – er. That’s how drunk I was.”
On his alter-ego Chico Divine, who comes out when he gets drunk:
“Chico was that crazy dude you see hanging from the rafters at the club on, like, Wednesday at 6 o’clock in the morning . . . One time Chico got so drunk, he threw up in the club Suede in New York, right there in his booth — I think that one made Page Six . . . the best or worst part of that story was that Chico threw up right on the foot of the lady who was the William Morris Agency’s publicity director. There she was, this tall, well-dressed white lady, and Chico just threw up right on her shoes.”
On a party at Clive Davis’ place in 2004:
“Chaka Khan tried to tongue-kiss me. I’m serious — Chaka just leaned in and went for it, and her breath smelled like Bacardi and franks.”
On his sweet spot for Salma Hayek:
“I’m telling you whenever Salma came around, it was just me and her. She is my baby. If she gave me just a little time, I would make her the Octomom.”