There is huge controversy about the G-spot right now. Does is exist? Does it not? Do I have one? And if I do, can a man even find it?
With a recent study that claims the G-spot is just wishful thinking on the part of open-minded, gregarious women, British researchers have sparked the world into serious debate mode on the innermost workings of women’s sexuality.
Luckily for us gals, I can tell you they got it wrong. The G-spot does exist. The trouble is finding it.
Unfortunately, most men don’t have a clue about the G-spot, where to look for it and how to treat it. That said, most women don’t, either.
I used to be one of those girls that couldn’t find it, and even thought that there was something wrong with me. Turns out I just had to do a bit of research and get comfortable with the idea of exploring my body and then — Voila, magic!
Part of the problem is that many of us, women and men, find it hard to talk about sex and our bodies comfortably. We live in a society where pornography and sexual images are everywhere, but we still aren’t discussing the real issues at the dinner table — “Sex In the City” notwithstanding.
I’m not saying that it’s appropriate to talk about positions and the size of your guy and what you do in bed at a dinner party. In fact, I’m kind of prudish when it comes to those details. My friends tell me all the time that I’m one of the most private girls they know. (Yeah, I know — hard to imagine that!)
But I believe that a relationship is sacred and the intimate details are nobody’s business but your own. I also believe that everyone should be more open about their sexuality. After all, it’s our second most important biological instinct (after food).
So why is it still such a mystery and why are so many people afraid to really investigate their bodies with their partners? Explore, people!
To that end, here’s how to find this elusive G-spot. Every woman is different physiologically, but I do believe that we all have one.
The G-spot — named after Ernst Gräfenberg, who first wrote about it in 1950 — is the spongy tissue of the paraurethral gland, which is comparable in certain ways to the male prostate, according to sex therapist Dr. Victoria Zdrok, who gives a great plain-English description of how it works at askmen.com. The actual area is only about the size of a quarter, but it feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. It lies about 1-2 inches back from the vaginal opening, inside the front vagina wall (the side that the belly button is on).
This is where it gets tricky, because the actual G-spot is not located on the outside of the wall. Instead, it lies inside the tissue, requiring pressure to reach those orgasmic nerves.
It’s said that sex gets better with age and woman are in their sexual prime in their 30s. This is because their estrogen levels begin to decline and the vaginal lining becomes thinner and the G-Spot nerves become easier to access.
Women in their 20s, on the other hand, find it easier to reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation because their estrogen levels are quite high therefore their vaginal lining is too thick. Still, tapping into the G-spot can be done. All you have to do is explore different positions and pressures and see what feels good for you. Most of the time, girl on top is the best way to reach this.
I know you want to ask, “How do I know what it feels like?” So here’s a little at-home experiment you can try. The next time you urinate, stop halfway through and squeeze those muscles that stop the stream. Hold it in. Feel that little tingle up in your vaginal wall, by your pubic bone? Ta-da! Congratulations — that is your G-spot! But tapping into it through intercourse, that’s the fun part!
Now that you know where it is and what it feels like, have fun exploring with your partner. (Don’t forget to go to the bathroom first, because penetrating the G-spot sort of feels like you have to urinate while in fact you don’t.) All you have to do is let that “Big O” happen! Let me know how it goes.