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Entertainment

Ruff diet

Having survived Leo, our Rhodesian Ridgeback who himself survived stealing and eating: 500 Tums, one glass cookie jar filled with two pounds of cookies, three chickens, 26 donuts, five pounds of eggplant Parmigiana, 100 honey balls, 20 granola bars (with wrappers), and the only pair of Chanel shoes I’ve ever owned, I couldn’t wait to watch the new weekly show, “My Dog Ate What?

No dog could have been as bad as Leo and lived — right? Wrong.

Turns out he was an amateur compared to, say Lola, the Labradoodle who ate three pairs of underwear before eating an entire tray of fresh-baked brownies — and the broken glass baking dish. The chocolate alone could have killed her.

Instead, when the vet went in and surgically opened Lola’s stomach she found — are you ready? — the underwear had surrounded the glass and absorbed the chocolate, literally forming a protective blanket. BVD’s as life savers.

Each week the show will bring you five different cases of canine thievery and eatery, which, if you’re a dog lover especially, you’ll be as fascinated as I am.

Each segment introduces us to the culprit, the culprit’s family, and the vet who saved the culprit’s life. There are also reenactments of the crime, and the actual X-rays of the objects consumed.

Take Fred, a mixed breed who was rescued after Hurricane Gustav. You’d think Fred would be happy what with a nice, new home, a doggy buddy to live with and plenty of toys. But no. One night when Fred’s owners went out, Fred ate a bottle of glue. Gorilla Glue. That’s the one to which you must add water because it expands to three times the size.

Rushed to the vet, Fred’s X-ray revealed a softball-sized lump that was hard as a rock because the glue had grown to gi-normous proportions when it hit the stomach liquids!

You’d think that was the most dangerous thing that Fred could have eaten, right? Turns out the glue ball saved his life. Why/how/what in hell? The glue ball formed around, yes, the cell phone charger that Fred had eaten as an appetizer. The charger wires are what would have killed him — by possibly puncturing an organ.

And I was worried about 500 Tums, three chickens and the only pair of Chanel shoes I ever owned? Practically diet food when you’re talking (yes, these are all here, too) over 100 rocks, an engagement ring and the bottom rod of a plastic hanger, in the stomachs of other dogs. You’ll be happy to know all the thieves lived to bark the tale.