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Business

Thin silver lining on employment figures

Dear John: I’d like to tell you what I think about the employment stuff. I’m a retired guy and I do a bit of walking. When you’re walking, as you know, you’re not moving very fast. So you get to see a lot of different things that you wouldn’t if you were driving.

Well, recently I walked up to Red Bank, NJ, from Belmar to get theater tickets — 12-13 miles or so. What I saw on Route 35 was all sorts of stores in little malls shut down, with signs out to the road advertising store space and construction sites that obviously hadn’t been worked for a long time.

Everyone I know has someone in their family out of work. People are continuing to be laid off. There are ‘for sale’ signs on homes all over. And the government is trying to tell us things are on the upswing?

As used to be said, “If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.” T.B.

Dear T.B.: And if you had a bridge, you could raise tolls so that people could be even more broke.

Look, as you know you are preaching to the choir when you write about how the employment figures coming from Washington don’t reflect reality.

But in all honesty, things have gotten a little better. That’s to be expected because Washington has spent hundreds of billions of dollars in an attempt to stimulate the economy. Let’s hope the (tiny) improvement continues and that all the money our officials spent doesn’t come back to haunt us.

All those stores and buildings you see on Rte. 35 probably shouldn’t have been built in the first place. And since we can’t tear them down, they’ll just have to stay empty as a vivid reminder of our stupidity.

It was nice talking with you, Mr. Gump.

*

Dear John: Wall Street is not for guys like us.

I have been in the market since 1993 and haven’t seen a dime profit. Wall Street gives it to you and then takes it away.

We are the consumers to them. We buy the products that they sell: mutual funds, annuities, stocks and bonds. Traders, financial advisers, institutions and banks make the money.

I keep hearing “long term” and “diversify” — it’s all bull. I have used two advisers and they both shoveled the same crap. At this point I would just like to get my money back and say thanks, but no more investing for me. If you don’t know when to buy and sell, stay the heck out of the Wall Street casino. J.B.

Dear J.B.: Wow, are you cranky!

Because you are so negative, you put me in the position of having to say nice things about Wall Street. And I will, as long as you understand that I’m defending the part of Wall Street that cares about its clients, and not just its bonuses.

Show me that brokerage firm, you say! Well, they are out there. And you can pick the customer-friendly ones by the inverse proportion of old sayings they spout. Take, for example, the catchphrase “long term,” or its close cousin, “buy and hold.”

This is usually mentioned by a broker who’d really like you to buy stocks — or something else — put the investment in a drawer (or in today’s world a computer file) and not pay attention to what it is doing. “Buy and don’t bother me” would be their motto if they were honest.

If your investment goes up, the broker will be sure to let you know. If it loses value, you’ll have to discover that on your own. But buy and hold doesn’t hold up historically as a strategy. As you said, you need to know when to buy and sell.

Stock prices typically go higher three out of every four years. Now all you have to figure out is which three. And cheer up. It may be a casino, but at least you don’t have to pay for parking.

Send your questions to Dear John, The N.Y. Post, 1211 Ave. of the Americas, N.Y., N.Y., 10036, or [email protected].