At the beginning of her 12-year marriage, Dahlia, 33, couldn’t get enough of her husband.
“We were constantly having sex,” she says. “The desire was so great. It was wonderful. I was always the initiator. And we had great sex, every time.”
But a few years ago her desire just shut off like a spigot.
“I just have no interest in it anymore. I realized recently I could probably go a whole year without sex and probably be just fine,” says the receptionist and mother of three.
Her lack of interest in sex has caused a huge rift in her relationship. If there was a pill she could pop to turn her on again — and save her marriage — Dahlia says she would take it in a heartbeat.
She may be in luck.
On June 18, German pharmaceutical company Boehringer Ingelheim will present the first “female Viagra” pill to the Food and Drug Administration, which will vote on the pill’s safety and efficacy. If approved, the unsexily named “flibanserin” could be on the market by year’s end.
The prescription pill supposedly boosts sexual desire in women ages 18 to 50 who say they suffer from hypoactive sexual desire disorder — or low libido — and works by playing with neurotransmitters in the brain, much like antidepressants.
Whether or not it gets approved, the pill is already causing convulsions among New York women.
“If all these men weren’t so pumped up on Viagra, women wouldn’t need to be so pumped up, too,” says Lesley Jane Seymour, editor-in-chief of More magazine, which caters to women 40 and up.
“Do we need a drug or do we need men to maybe try a little harder in bed? It’s like — ‘Now you guys have your Viagra, so figure out how to turn me on again, babe!’”
Although flibanserin is being called female Viagra, it works differently from the little blue pill. Traditional Viagra simply increases the blood flow to the male genitalia; it has nothing to do with the trickier psychological origins of desire. Flibanserin, on the other hand, blocks serotonin in the brain, which can inhibit sexual function, says Dr. Anita Clayton of the University of Virginia, who led studies of the pill in the US.
But New York women moan that pharmaceutical companies should stop messing with their minds.
“There are so many variables when it comes to desire — it’s hard to give someone a pill and say, ‘OK, now you’ll feel more desirous,’” said New York therapist Sari Cooper.
More than 5,000 women worldwide took part in clinical trials of the pill over five years, says Dr. Michael Sand, the director of global clinical research for flibanserin. The subjects all said they had once enjoyed an adequate level of sexual desire, had lost it — and wanted it back. They also said their lack of interest in sex was causing distress in their relationships.
The study found that women reported 4.5 satisfying sexual experiences a month, compared to 2.7 prior to taking the pill, he says. Those who took a placebo reported 3.7 satisfying sexual experiences a month.
“We asked women if, in their view, they were benefiting from the medication. And 60 percent [in North America] told us they were. We know these results are meaningful because they came from the women themselves,” Sand says.
But some NYC women wonder if popping a “desire” pill could turn them into wanton hussies longing for men they normally wouldn’t give the time of day.
“Will women become sexually indiscriminate?” asks Dr. Madeleine Castellanos, a NYC psychiatrist who specializes in sex therapy. “Will they be sexually active with people they aren’t actually attracted to?”
Scientists say that the pill doesn’t work as a rampant aphrodisiac. But others worry that the delicate dance between the sexes could be thrown into flux by the new pharmaceutical.
“What will happen if it makes women hornier than the average guy?” asks Amy Sohn, former sex columnist and author of the novel “Prospect Park West.” “How will it change the power dynamic between men and women? Women already play the role of man-hungry cougars, whether or not that correlates to desire.”
Flibanserin, if approved, would need to be taken every night, said doctors, and the effects of the pill are not likely to kick in until after about a month of daily doses.
While the pill may address the neuroscience behind desire, New York women say it misses so many other factors, including low self-esteem, relationship issues and other factors that affect the complex nature of what turns a woman on.
“It’s like covering a bullet wound with a Band-Aid,” said Emily Gould, author of the memoir “And the Heart Says Whatever.”
“Even male Viagra simplifies something that is super-complicated. There is so much pressure on men to be super-rapacious and to live up to a stereotype that they don’t always feel,” she says.
Sohn says she thinks the real problem with female desire is that “there is such a schism between the reality of sex and what we are told it should be like.”
“In Hollywood,” she says, “a man and a woman kiss and she has an orgasm immediately. A drug isn’t going to make you have sex like a character in a movie.”
Maybe not, but it might help women — overwhelmed by work, parenting and life’s daily pressures — feel a little more attracted to their partners.
“We all know that hormones, stress and age can wreak havoc on a woman’s sex drive, so why not get a little SOS if you need it?” asks Janice Lieberman, author of “How to Shop for a Husband.” “If it’s safe, I’m all for it. We all deserve a hot sex life, or at least a decent one. It’s a heck of a lot better than giving up.”
The drug company that puts the first “female Viagra” pill on the market stands to make a huge windfall; experts say the untapped market is worth billions.
Film director Liz Canner, whose new movie “Orgasm Inc.” tracks the “gold rush” mentality behind Big Pharma’s search for “female Viagra,” says the drug companies are simply snake-oil salesmen selling women drugs that fix a disease they don’t even have.
“If they can convince you we are supposed to be having fabulous sex all the time, they can convince you that something is wrong with you, and that a pill can cure it,” she says.
But for a woman like Dahlia, who knows she suffers from low sex drive, this drug could be the miracle she craves.
“If it does what it says it does, I can’t wait to try it,” she says. “I could get my sex drive back — that would mean more than anything to me.”