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The secret to eating 7 ways beef

Meals at Ma Peche are casual and often inexpensive. But it’s another story with Beef Seven Ways, an $85-a-head (before drinks, tax or tip) “Vietnamese celebration feast” that’s served to only two or three parties a day at different times during the week. It’s offered only to groups of six to 10 people. After all that trouble and guaranteed expense, we were irked to be pushed to spend even more. Our meal for six came to just under $900 with two bottles of wine ($42 and $50), tax and tip. But it would have been more had we heeded the waitress’ urging to surf-and-turf things up by “framing” the meal with a shellfish plateau ($75 and $150) before and epoisses ($48) after.

PHOTOS: BEEF 7 WAYS

It cast a chill on some of the most memorable dishes I’ve ever had. It’s either beef heaven or beef overkill, depending on your mood.

Dishes are presented in pairs until the final offering: anticlimactic short rib consommé. In the first matchup, silky, thin-sliced tongue, brined, braised and scented with basil and plum vinaigrette, prompted my friend to gasp, “I feel like I’m Vietnam!” This tongue licked the seared Wagyu that would be the hit of any other meal.

The next combo was roasted ribeye and lemongrass/Thai basil sausage, both meant for wrapping (with pickled carrots and daikon) in Bibb lettuce. Wrapping is fun for one dish; work for two. The sausage, a grind of Wagyu and shoulder, lent itself to the task more readily than the thicker-cut ribeye, which called for a knife and fork. Dipped in fish sauce with chili paste and garlic, the sausage tasted incredibly sensuous — an unforgettable interplay of taste and texture.

Round three pitted the world’s dreamiest oxtail against merely good, intermittently tough, braised shank. The oxtail — with just enough fat and peeling from the bone — came immersed in braising liquid full of ginger, peppercorns and a hint of apple; the shank in chili-rich crab paste. By that point, none of us had room for consommé. But we’d have loved sorbet or fruit. And if this ending reads abruptly, you know exactly how we felt.