What happens when you put a bunch of old Jews on a soundstage and invite them to crack wise? Thirteen hours and about 140 video clips later, they’re still funny — and they’ve eaten all the pastrami sandwiches and cookies.
The concept behind the wildly popular Web site Old Jews Telling Jokes (oldjewstellingjokes.com) is simple. It basically involves everybody’s bubbe and zeyde telling their time-tested jokes in front of the camera. Four new videos are posted to the Web site each week. “Everyone has a grandparent or a great-uncle that was known for telling jokes, especially at family gatherings,” says producer Eric Spiegelman.
The Web site, he says, “is like comfort food: It’s warm and good for the soul. Even if the jokes are off-color. Maybe even especially because some are off-color.”
Spiegelman and the site’s creator, Sam Hoffman, started recording the geriatric jokesters a year and a half ago in a storefront in Highland Park, NJ. As the site expanded, they did a recording session at a soundstage in Hollywood, and last Friday, at the RGA Digital Studios in Midtown.
Chairs were set up for the audience — mostly the other jokesters — to watch and laugh at the others as they waited to tell their quips.
“You’re not tellin’ it right!” Marvin Nissenbaum’s wife called out when he fumbled his punch line.
Members of the tribe came from far and wide in response to a call for Talmudic talent that the Web site put in its e-newsletter. Others learned about it through their children or grandchildren. One man traveled all the way from Louisville, Ky. Others simply stopped by on their lunch hour, told their joke and left.
“My granddaughter heard about the filming and said, ‘My bubbe tells good jokes,’ ” says Ettie Steinberg, 79, who came in from Philadelphia to tell her joke. “Some people have an innate sense of humor. I always found that it defused a lot of trouble. My husband and I are married 62 years. In this age and era, it’s a big deal.”
She then proceeded to tell a few jokes ribald enough to make a longshoreman blush.
Salt Lake City resident Louis Borgenicht, 67, was in town attending his 50th high-school reunion.
“I got an e-mail that they were taping, and said, ‘This is perfect. This is my favorite Web site in the world,’ ” he says.
“I’ve always been funny,” he adds confidently.
“It’s a genetic thing, but it’s not from my mother. Maybe not from my father, either. It’s a spontaneous mutation.”
For Hoffman, 43, the site is about more than humor — it’s a link to the past.
“The project really has two goals: to entertain and to archive,” he says. “This type of storytelling won’t be around forever.”
As the laughter died down from an off-color joke she told about her husband’s anatomy, Sara Ross wiped away tears as she told the audience, “That joke was told by my mother, who was a Holocaust survivor. She spoke broken English and could never get a story straight. But she came home from the Catskills with it, and I have been telling that joke for years.”
* Howard Slonim, 69, Manhattan
“My daughter, Michelle Slonim, is a comedic actress and she told me about [this]. She’s producing a play called ‘Date My Jewish Friend.’: A married couple of many years are in bed together, and the woman feels the husband’s hand under her leg, says ‘Oh boy, this is going to be a pleasant evening.’ A little bit later she feels his hand under her behind, and says, ‘Now, this is like the old days!’ Finally, she feels his hand around her thigh, but then everything stops. She asks, ‘Irving, what happened?’ He says, ‘I found the remote.’ ”
* Marvin Nissenbaum, 63, BrooKlyn
“This man got a new hearing aid, and he was very excited about it. He was boasting to his friend about all its features; he said it was computerized, digital, knocks out all the background noise! His friend was really impressed and said, ‘Tell me, what kind is it?’ The man looked at his watch and said, ‘Oh, ’bout 2 o’clock.’ ”
* Bob Ross, 70, Becket, Mass.
“I’m walking down in Greenwich Village, and it’s late at night, and I see this elderly woman being accosted by this punk who’s trying to steal her pocketbook. And she’s pulling, and he’s pulling. She’s giving him a battle. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I ran in to help. Did you know it took almost 15 minutes for the two of us to get that pocketbook away from that woman?”
* Julius Lokin, 67, Manhattan
“A man was driving down the Long Island Expressway, and the police pulled the guy over and said, ‘Excuse me, do you realize your wife fell out of the car about a mile back?’ He said, ‘Thank God you told me that — I thought I was going deaf!’ ”
LOUIS Borgenicht, 67, Salt Lake City
“A guy walks into St. Patrick’s, sits down in the confessional booth, and the priest says, ‘How can I help you?’ The guy says, ‘I’m 88 years old. I’ve had a wonderful life, I have a wife of 65 years, I have six grandchildren that I put through college, I’m the president of my synagogue, and I’ve been a moral man all my life. But the other night I went to a party, and these two Swedish girls picked me up, took me to the bedroom, and they did things to me I couldn’t even imagine. It was unbelievable.’ The priest says, ‘Why are you telling me this? You’re obviously Jewish.’ And the man says, ‘I’m tellin’ EVERYBODY!’ ”
Sara Ross, 63, Becket, Mass.
“My husband turned 65 years old. But he had no proof of his age, and he wanted to collect Social Security. He went down to the office, and I asked him, ‘Did you get Social Security?’ He said ‘Yes. I took off my shirt and said, “You see how my shoulders are rounded?” and she gave me Social Security.’ I said, ‘Well, if you take off your pants, you’ll get disability, too.’ ”
Paul Eisenman, 83, Cliffside Park, NJ
“There was an international convention of lawyers in Geneva, and terrorists took it over. They took a thousand lawyers as hostage. They announced their demands. Then to heighten the tension, they announced what they would do: They would release one lawyer every hour if their demands were not met.”
Brenda Fishman, 70, Atlantic City, NJ
“It was Inauguration Day, and it was the first inauguration of a Jewish woman president-elect. There was her mother, seated proudly front and center, with the chief justice of the Supreme Court on one side, and a senior senator on the other. She was bursting with pride, but just as her daughter was about to be sworn in, [the mother] turned to the senator and said, ‘Do you see that young woman? Do you see her? Her brother’s a doctor!’ ”
Paul Cohen, 66, East Windsor, NJ
”So Mrs. Stein goes into the local kosher butcher shop and says, ‘How much for me a pound of lamb chops?’ The butcher says, ‘For you, $6 a pound.’ ‘But across the street, they have the lamb chops for $3 a pound!’ ‘So go buy from the butcher across the street.’ ‘But he don’t got any!’ ‘Lady, if I didn’t have any, I’d also charge you $3 a pound!’ ”
Cliff Lander, 68, Fall River, Mass.
”This couple went to the zoo one day, and they came to the monkey cage. Her husband threw the monkey a peanut. The monkey took the peanut and put it up his rear end. Then he took it out and ate the peanut. She thought, this is kind of weird, and threw him another peanut, and he did the same thing. So she asked the zookeeper, ‘There’s something wrong with this monkey. We throw him peanuts, he sticks it up his behind, and then he eats it. Is he mentally ill?’ Zookeeper says, ‘No, no. The monkey is fine. About two weeks ago he swallowed a peach pit, and now he checks everything for size.’ ”