AIRHEAD: Pilots wish they had an Otto the Autopilot (from “Airplane!” with Julie Hagerty and Robert Hays) to give them a much-needed break. (Paramount)
Forget complaining about airline food — some pilots don’t get to eat at all.
A new report that polled 17 airline pilots found that some airlines aren’t giving their staff enough time to eat.
“Sometimes the airline won’t give us lunch breaks,” said one pilot. “We have to delay flights just so we can get food.”
Another pilot said that for those in need of rest, there’s no Otto the Autopilot, like in the spoof film “Airplane!”
“The truth is, we’re exhausted,” said the unidentified captain at a major airline. “That’s many more hours than a truck driver. And unlike a truck driver, who can pull over at the next rest stop, we can’t pull over at the next cloud.”
The Reader’s Digest report revealed inside secrets that’ll give people even more reason to fear flying.
“I’m constantly under pressure to carry less fuel than I’m comfortable with,” said one captain. “Airlines are always looking at the bottom line, and you burn fuel carrying fuel.”
Pilot Patrick Smith said some safety issues take a backseat to marketing concerns.
“Is traveling with a baby in your lap safe? No. It’s extremely dangerous,” said Smith. “But the government’s logic is that if we made you buy an expensive seat for your baby, you’d just drive.”
The experts also pointed out when to worry on a flight.
“It’s one thing if the pilot puts the seat-belt sign on for the passengers. But if he tells the flight attendants to sit down, you’d better listen. That means there’s some serious turbulence ahead,” said John Greaves, an airline accident lawyer and former airline captain.
And as far as the flotation device instructions, one unnamed pilot warned: “There’s no such thing as a water landing. It’s called crashing into the ocean.”
Then there’s the electronic devices.
“We don’t make you stow your laptop because we’re worried about electronic interference. It’s about having a projectile on your lap. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get hit in the head by a MacBook going 200 miles per hour,” said Smith.
Jim Peters, a spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration, said that because of the Colgan Air crash in Buffalo last year, where pilot fatigue played a role, the FAA is examining how it can change its rules on the length of pilots’ shifts.
“We expect to issue that final rule by April of next year,” he said.
He added that FAA regulations “govern the amount of fuel an aircraft must have when departing.”
“We would expect any airline licensed by the FAA to comply,” he said.