Blame it on the anniversary gift.
“Saturday Night Live” used inner monologues to explore President Obama’s tepid showing in Wednesday’s debate. The show-opening debate spoof showed Obama (Jay Pharoah) considering last-minute gift ideas for wife Michelle and struggling with the Denver altitude during his time at the podium, while Republican challenger Mitt Romney (Jason Sudeikis) blabbed about his plans for economic recovery.
“I can’t believe I forgot the anniversary gift,” Obama thinks, shaking his head. “This is bad. This is very, very bad.”
Obama considers using Secret Service to distract the missus while he buys her something at the hotel gift shop. Denver Broncos sweatshirt? Bath robes? ‘World’s greatest mom’ coffee mug?
“Everybody likes coffee,” Barack muses.
The debate continues with Romney outlining his 20th element for economic growth, causing moderator Jim Lehrer (“SNL” alum Chris Parnell) to ask Romney to wrap up his comments.
“Mister President,” Lehrer says. “Governor Romney has just said that he killed Osama bin Laden. Would you care to respond?”
“No, you two go ahead,” Pharoah’s Obama says, at which point Mitt continues with his list.
Cue another presidential monologue – this time about that pesky altitude, which former VP Al Gore blamed for Obama’s lackluster effort.
“What is this, 10 miles above sea level? I can barely keep my head up,” Obama says, trying to stay awake. “So lightheaded. Why did I agree to Denver?”
Romney’s PBS comments during Wednesday’s debate gave the SNL writers an easy jab.
“And I’m sorry Jim, but I’m gonna have to stop the subsidy to PBS. I like PBS, I do. And I like you too. But there’s no reason for taxpayers to subsidize a television network,” SNL’s Romney says.
The comment causes Lehrer to enter his own inner monologue.
“He can’t be serious about PBS, he can’t!” Lehrer rues, considering the greatness of PBS mainstays “Antiques Roadshow” and “Downton Abbey.”
“This is so wrong, so wrong.”
The debate skit closes with Barack forgetting his daughter’s name – it’s Malia! – before falling asleep at the podium as Romney soaks in the applause.
“Hear that Mitt Romney?” Romney asks himself. “You are a badass mother f–ker.”
The rest of the episode featured a heavy focus on the first presidential debate. The mock MSNBC skit “A look back at the Obama debate disaster” showed Chris Matthews (Sudeikis) hurling insults at Obama and Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) suggesting Obama should get a face tattoo, holding his fingers over his eyes to mimic Mike Tyson’s ink.
The debate fervor reached its height – literally – when Sesame Street’s Big Bird sat at the Weekend Update desk.
Beyond Obama’s performance, the puppet’s fate might be the most enduring legacy from the first presidential debate, after Romney threatened to cut funding to the station that airs Sesame Street.
The comment sparked viral blowback, with people posting pictures online showing Big Bird holding a cardboard sign that reads “will work for food.”
Big Bird stayed up past his bedtime to discuss social networking with anchor Seth Meyers.
“How did you find out your name was mentioned in the debate?” Meyers asked.
“Oh, I got a million Tweets.”
“So you’re on Twitter.”
“No, I’m a bird! Tweeting is how we talk.”
The debate firestorm brought added attention to Big Bird … or maybe not.
“I feel like I’m famous now,” Big Bird said. “I was walking down the street the other day and I felt like everybody recognized me. It’s so weird to think that just a few days ago, I could just blend in like every other perfectly normal 8-foot-tall talking bird.”
The “Sesame Street” star – who didn’t want to “ruffle any feathers” with political views – also told a joke.
“Do you know who loves debates? De-fishes.”
Host Daniel Craig brought James Bond swagger and sophistication to the show’s monologue, where he honored all of the people he’s killed onscreen, award show style. And then there was the “lesser known Bond girls” skit, a chance for cast member Fred Armisen to dust off his stale Penny Marshall impression in an all-shades-of-awkward “Goldfinger” spoof.
Lea Michele’s Glee-inspired “Hippopotopussy” (featuring Nasim Pedrad) provided laughs with Craig yelling at the singing actress, the angst piling up as he unbuttons his jacket.
Cast member Kate McKinnon was all over the episode, most notably in a “Long Island Medium” spoof – fitting, since she actually grew up on Long Island. The skit features McKinnon approaching strangers and animals to discuss dead relatives, mocking the TLC series.
One scene shows McKinnon’s Theresa Caputo discussing a dead grandfather to a banquet hall crowd.
“Who has a grandfather who choked on a meatball parm?” Caputo asks the crowd, as audience members raise their hands.
“Everybody. OK. His name was Sal,” and one of hands go down.
“Short for Salvatore,” and the arm goes back up again.
“They’re all in peace, and they’re all bowling,” she tells the crowd, a nugget of comedy in a sea of political parody as SNL’s presidential campaign season hits its stride.