Hondo posted a very solid 9-5 record last week that enabled him to move up the ladder and close in on the Bettor’s Guide Rung of Honor. As for his Best Bets, space issues preclude a recap, so he will get right to the selections, starting with:
Redskins over Giants: It’s an obvious L&L game — letdown and look-ahead — for Big Blue, with RG3 & Co. sandwiched between last week’s monster victory over the Niners and next week’s revenge game against the ’Boys.
Jets over Patriots: Rex is starting to regain his swag. All it took to waive his right to remain silent was a romp over the god-awful Colts. Boasted Rex about Sunday’s game against the Pats: “I want them to know I think we’re going to beat them.” That’s highly doubtful, and borderline delusional, but with a double-digit spot, a cover is in play.
Even when Ryan strives for modesty, he can’t get there. “I don’t think I’m the best head coach in the league right now,” he said Wednesday. “I think [Belichick] is.” As if it’s a two-man race. As if he’s ahead of Coughlin, McCarthy, Tomlin, Shanahan, Fisher, etc. However, give him credit for this: He is better than Norvelous Norv.
Brady felt so bad after the Seahags stunned then taunted him and the Pats that Gisele sent out an email blast asking friends and family to pray for Tommy’s hurt feelings.
Titans over Bills: Obama’s supporters were fired up after the Hofstra debate, an indication they prefer Attack Dog Obama, who proved he can be as rude and interruptive as Biden, to Comatose Obama, who looked like he might have taken one of Tom Brokaw’s or Kerry Kennedy’s Ambiens.
Vikings over Cardinals: It must have been comforting for Obama at the debate to know he had Candy Crowley to act like a human road-grader and smooth over his “bumps in the road” on Libya.
BarkingMut points out that not everyone thought Candy was a poor moderator. Her three sisters — Cheesecake Crowley, Cookie Crowley, and Hot Fudge Sundae Crowley — thought she came up huge.
Colts over Browns: Hillary Clinton blamed the “fog of war” for the confusion about who or what was responsible for the attack in Libya. When it comes to recognizing the “fog of war,” Hillary gained big-time cred when she was forced to dodge that imaginary fusillade of sniper fire on a tarmac in Bosnia back in ’96.
Texans over Ravens: From emauler Ed Buckmir: “I’m not saying Obama is uninformed on Libya, but when he initially heard about the attack, he thought Benghazi was one of his overseas campaign bundlers.”
Rams over Packers: If you are thinking about backing the Packers, Hondo suggests you double-check the discount and switch to the Rams. The Packmen are playing their third straight away from Mr. Rodgers’ neighborhood, which according to Mr. Aitch’s Good Book of Handicapping makes them a toxic investment.
Panthers over Cowboys: It seems unfair that Romney is drawing heat for what he called his “binder full of women,” which enabled him to increase female hiring when he was Governor of Mass. After all, nobody seemed to mind that JFK and Bill Clinton had a binder full of women to cull from when they needed a job done.
Meanwhile, Clinton campaigned for the President yesterday in Ohio, only too willing to overlook that Hillary fell on her sword for Obama. For the love of God, Bill, stand up and man up for the missus!
Saints over Bucs: According to Wastebook 2012, which examines frivolous government spending, $1.5M was given to the University of Utah to study building a better computer gaming joystick. Peyronie Bill Clinton says he would have given them the answer free of charge: Just put a little more bend in it.
Raiders over Jaguars: It’s good to see behavioral improvements have been made at the frat house known as the Secrete Service. An agent recently was arrested for public intoxication and resisting arrest after passing out on a Miami street when Obama left town. Back in the good old days, he would have had a couple of prostitutes sharing the curb with him.
Bengals over Steelers: Bonus bite from BarkingMut: A-Rod only wanted to meet with hot Aussie bikini-model Kyna Treacy to find out what life is like down-under.
Bears over Lions: A website called “Fame Daddy” is offering “celebrity sperm” at $24,000 per pop. Although, customers won’t know the identity of the famous daddy, they will be able to choose his profession. So if you get seeded by a musician, and your son or daughter grows a walrus moustache, chances are it came from the ol’ singer/songwriter/sperm donor himself, David Crosby.
For those hoping their child grows up to be a sports handicapper of marginal repute, be advised that Hondo will not be making any deposits at the Fame Daddy bank.
BEST BETS: Rams, Raiders, Bears.
LAST NIGHT: 49ers. (Tie)