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Why They’ll Never Get a ‘Justice League’ Movie Right

Anyone with a mild interest in potentially awesome movies and half an Internet connection has surely seen the non-stop blathering on one subject in particular: The extremely hypothetical Justice League movie, especially with “Man of Steel” in theaters.

“They must do it!” your friend who knows nothing about anything of how comics are made into movies has been screaming since seeing last summer’s “The Avengers” and presuming that any movie with the most famous superheroes of all time working together must therefore be so full of unbridled amazingness that it’s practically bursting out of the surely uncomfortable bikini bottom thing Wonder Woman fights crime in.

This is all great, and whether or not it’s actually going to happen any time soon (it’s not) is the subject for another post.

Because all this fretting and pining over whether we’re ever going to get the Justice League movie we deserve is pointless. We’ve already gotten a whole bunch of Justice League movies, not to mention Batman, Superman and the Flash, that are way better than any big-screen version we’re likely to see.

They’re all cartoons. And, in sum total, they have outclassed (and outperformed, by some metrics) the live-action versions by leaps and bounds. Yes, even that horrid Green Lantern got a nice chance to shine and an entertaining story in an animated version (sorry Ryan Reynolds; you woulda made a great Deadpool, though).

The DC Universe animated arm is perhaps one of the most reliable, smartest extensions of comic book properties that exists today. The stories are complex and evoke real emotion and the animation is top notch. The voice talents are so superb that Kevin Conroy — who has voiced Batman in many animated iterations since 1992 (!) — is not only the longest serving actor to fill that role, he’s considered the definitive embodiment of the character for many fans (including the likes of filmmaker Kevin Smith).

Remember Christian Bale’s laughable Batman-through-a-tube-sock voice? Conroy got nothing but bone chills from his audience when he growled, “I am vengeance. I am the night. I am BATMAN!” from a rooftop.

Here’s the thing: Marvel has succeeded in turning their comic book franchises into blockbuster movie franchises because Marvel managed to set out a singular vision for its movie releases: First you get Iron Man to test the waters; then you start building up the other characters, all the while linking them together with the Samuel L. Jackson/Nick Fury guest appearance or whatnot.

Then, throw em into a pot with Joss Whedon, and — Boom! Avengers takes all the money out of all the wallets in the world, and everyone is happy. Repeat this ad nauseum for each of the properties until you have a billion Avengers movies and a trillion separate but connected franchises and everyone at Marvel/Disney has so much money they create their own CitiBike-like Iron Man suit share system. They look alike in style, they exist in the same universe, so it’s easy to believe the Hulk might pop by Tony Stark’s place for dinner or further bromance or something.

DC had no such fortune. The movie franchises have been all cattywampus since the ’70s, so there has never been a uniting force to put them all together. We had a popular Superman franchise, that was not connected to a much grittier Batman franchise in the ‘80s-‘90s, that didn’t even look connected to itself by the time Joel Schumacher was putting nipples on the Batsuit and filling Mr. Freeze with so many ice puns I prayed for a cleansing fire to take it all away.

Batnipples! (Warner Brothers)

Joel Schumacher lampooned on “Batman: The Animated Series.” (Warner Brothers)

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl getting intimate (Warner Brothers)

But where the movies were lacking, the animated side of things took control in the early ‘90s with “Batman: The Animate Series,” and started churning out pulpy, mature stories that blended the stylized beauty of comic book worlds with the action pacing of a television show.

Thanks to that success (the show won four Emmys and is consistently ranked among the best animated series of all time), we got a Superman animated series, and then more Batman versions, and an eventual Justice League cartoon.

The shows were so good, elements of them actually transmogrified into the comics. Joker assistant/love interest Harley Quinn, for one. Oh , and there’s a great episode of animated Batman where they even take a pot shot at the silly Joel Schumacher movies, which was sweet, sweet vindication for every true Batman fan out there.

Now here’s where it gets savvy: almost at the start, the creators of the shows recognized that the characters existed in the same universe. Batman would pop into a Superman episode, and vice versa, but the biggest crossover happened in 1997’s “World’s Finest,” a Batman-Superman, Lex Luthor-Joker buddy adventure that, if it got the live action treatment, would be a hit of the summer.

They meet when Superman helps Batman out at a crime scene, and how does Bats respond? He drops his shoulder and plows through Supes like a linebacker!

But the genius of these animated adventures isn’t in the fighting; it’s in the human emotions. The emotional arc of the episode is Bruce Wayne visiting Metropolis on business, when he meets and falls for Lois Lane, who eventually gets a transfer to the Gotham bureau of The Daily Planet to keep the relationship going. But there is a dichotomy here: While she’s in love with Superman, but not Clark Kent, she loves Bruce, but not Batman. And this was a kids’ show, mind you.

The animated shows also spawned what this writer proselytizes as the best superhero movie ever made: “Batman: Mask of the Phantasm,” a story of love, loss and soul-searching priorities that is so worth seeing I will trust you to go out and watch it immediately and not even spoil it for you.

So by time we get up to the “Justice League” animated show that debuted on Cartoon Network in 2001, we’ve got an established universe and characters we recognize and understand in terms of how they fit into this world (there’s an episode of Superman animated where he and the Flash race around the globe for charity, for instance).

The stories of a bunch of superpowered heroes living in a satellite in the sky were surprisingly dark and existential at times, treading on the themes of how far they could go without betraying humanity’s trust and the like.

And romance? Oh yeah, there was romance. The entire series has great sexual tension (again, kids’ show!) between Batman and Wonder Woman, with them even dancing and making out in episodes. Plus, Hawkgirl and Green Lantern have a love affair so intense it ends with GL fighting for her love (well, that and the fate of the planet) bare knuckled, with no ring to help.

Overall, the animated series feel like what a lot of the movies are not: projects undertaken by genuine comic book fans who know and love the material, and want to have fun with it; instead of studio producers who are striving desperately for a level of mediocrity that will appeal to the most people.

“It’s really hard talking to some executives sometimes if they’re not of the blood,” says Paul Dini, one of the driving forces behind the Batman, Superman and Justice League animated series.

“We all speak the same language, know how to mix and match characters. It’s true to the feel of the character. That’s the freedom you have when you work with people who are like minded.”

Later this week: A Guide to the Best Animated DC Movies, Some of Which Are Much Better Than The Live-Action Versions No Matter How Much CGI is Involved.

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