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Sports

Hondo takes a ’Stro

Fife didn’t have enough bullets to get the job done for the Dodgers last night, so Hondo ended up with a second straight loss that expanded the deficit to 300 mcauliffes.

Today, Mr. Aitch will launch a play on the Astros over the Cubs — 10 units on Keuchel. Tonight, he will rely on Mister Fister to punch out Jonny Lager and the Sawx — 10 units on the Tigers.

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Rep. Michael Burgess of Texas says he opposes abortion because fetuses can feel pleasure, as evidenced, he says, by sonograms that show males masturbating. Even though there is no science to support his claim, don’t be too quick to disregard Burgess, who seems like the type who has done an inordinate amount of post-womb research in the field … In a related topic, according to a study, it’s OK for pregnant women to drink a glass of wine a day. That works out well, because it will help establish a nice mood for the baby ’bators … JFK’s 1963 speech in Germany is known for his proclamation: “Ich bin ein Berliner.” After Obama’s flat speech in Berlin Wednesday, he might as well have proclaimed: “Ich bin ein BSer.”

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