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Business

The envelope please: The turkeys for 2013 are …

By
Terry Keenan
Published Nov. 24, 2013, 3:24 a.m. ET

It’s Thanksgiving week, and that means it’s time to roast the biggest turkeys in the business and finance world so far this year. So fair or “fowl,” we’ve trussed them and stuffed them. Here’s the 2013 list.

Martha Stewart:

She fries up a mean bird, but Martha’s lousy relationship skills were on full display this year as she was taken to court by Macy’s CEO Terry Lundgren after the kitchen diva two-timed him by entering an ill-advised partnership with JCPenney. Court-ordered arbitration means that JCP can no longer sell a broad range of Stewart’s items and must return the 11 million shares of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia it had bought as part of the deal.

Bloomberg LLP:

While most Wall Streeters will be sorry to see Mayor Mike depart on New Year’s Day, they were none too pleased to learn that his eponymous company basically put a nanny-cam on every big trading desk in the world. The news, which was broken by Mark DeCambre in The Post, detailed how Bloomberg reporters had gained access to customer logins and other data. Both Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan raised red flags about “Bloomberg stalking.”

Preet Bharara:

The ever-earnest US Attorney for the Southern District of New York was played for a turkey by hedge-fund honcho Steven A. Cohen, who was able to settle massive insider-trading charges against him for $1.2 billion dollars, just a fraction of Cohen’s total net worth. Too big to jail? That’s the question Bharara left investors asking as Cohen was able to retreat to his “family office” and manage the estimated $9 billion fortune he has left over from his illicit trades. Just to rub it in, one day after paying the biggest individual fine in US history, Cohen attended an election-night bash for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, himself a former federal prosecutor. Now, that’s some impressive insider trading.

Ron Johnson and Bill Ackman:

This duo’s dubious plans to re-image JCPenney crashed and burned with amazing speed this year. Forget the Wall Street angles — the lives of thousands of JCP employees were ruined because of this ill-conceived experiment. Because of them, a JCP bankruptcy may be in store. Let’s hope the storied retailer can recover.

Evan Spiegel:

It’s premature to call this 23-year-old wunderkind a turkey, but the Snapchat founder’s reluctance to cash in on a $3 billion takeover offer from Facebook just might go down as one of the biggest turkey moves of the year.

President Obama:

The president deserves a Turkey Award this year not only because of the obvious — the breakdown of his signature health-care initiative — but also for his total lack of political instincts in covering his back. How can a president who appointed 39 “czars” in his first years in office — everything from an Auto Czar to an Afghan Czar to a Great Lakes Czar to a Green Jobs Czar — not have had a point person in place when ObamaCare rolled out this October? Amazingly, there was no convenient scapegoat in place — and now the president is being roasted instead.