Grannies — and anyone else faint of heart — cover your ears, and gird your loins. “Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F - - k” is coming to a bookstore near you.
And this ain’t your grandma’s vegan cookbook. It is, however, the brainchild of Michelle Davis and Matt Holloway, the cantankerous, crass scribes behind the popular foul-mouthed health food blog, Thug Kitchen. Their identities were masked for the past two years as they made the world a safer place for ingredients like deactivated yeast called Nooch, which the pair compare to “a healthy Cheeto dust” and is packed with B12 and folic acid.
Sure, they rarely utter a sentence that isn’t profane, but that hasn’t alienated notoriously fussy foodie Gwyneth Paltrow from singing their praises — or launching their book, out Tuesday.
We chatted up the vulgar vegans, both 29, about how a Catholic school kid never stopped cursing up a storm and why there’s more to healthy eating than lentils.
How did you two start the blog?
Michelle Davis: The blog started in 2012. I worked in the natural foods industry — OK, it was a big-ass natural food store in LA.
Matt Holloway: I’ve worked a bunch of odd jobs — assistant for production company, a waiter at a restaurant, at a “retail space.” OK, it was the Gap.
Davis: You should see how he folds clothes. You want this guy folding your shirts.
Holloway: Photography was always a hobby.
Davis: We were looking to collaborate. It needed to be funny and entertaining.
Holloway: We’re as close as any two people can be — dating, then friends. So we started this blog. Michelle does the cooking, I do the photography and we co-write.
What are your backgrounds with healthy eating?
Davis: I was vegetarian as a kid and vegan for 11 years. That’s how I learned to cook — good f - - king luck [being vegan] when your whole family is carnivores. It’s so easy to become vegan now. I first laid eyes on kale in college — and we’ve been together ever since.
Holloway: [Before we launched the blog,] I was trying to get into healthy eating. I had major indigestion problems — a young, thin guy should not have that — and my new plant-based diet eased my problems immediately.
Were you annoyed by the pretentious health food scene?
Holloway: It was so God damn alienating. These beautiful people in their f - - king beautiful farmhouse. The way they were writing had such a self-righteousness about them.
Did that preachiness make your vision for “Thug Kitchen” that much clearer?
Holloway: We wanted people to say, “F - - k you, I want a salad, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” When omnivores e-mail me and say they substitute veggies for their meat, that’s f - - king awesome.
What’s your advice to fast food and meat junkies who want to make a change, but find it daunting?
Davis: It’s 100 percent doable to change your habits. Give it time, but you’ll get there. Pick a Sunday night meal to experiment, and try a new recipe. Don’t try plant-based meals for four days straight. You can’t be Gwyneth Paltrow overnight.
Holloway: Allow yourself to f - - k up a dish. After a few months, you’ve got this.
Why is your healthy food book different?
Davis: You shouldn’t have to run to 17 different f - - king farmers markets just to get ingredients. Just f - - king look next to the barbecue sauce . . . I think to myself, “What can I get at the Food Lion in Virginia?”
Thug Kitchen are releasing a cookbook by the same name.Handout
Holloway: [And] eating better doesn’t have to break the bank. I’d fetch expensive lunches at the production company — ones I could never afford in my wildest dreams, and that they don’t even finish . . . that pissed me off!
Best reactions from newly minted health food converts?
Holloway: We got an e-mail from a truck driver in the Midwest, saying, “I tried your recipes and I lost a few pounds.” That’s f - - king awesome!
Why are you so hostile and angry — considering you’re two plant-based eaters?
Holloway: We’re not angry, we’re passionate! Hey, I grew up going to Catholic school — it’s where I learned to swear and smoke.
What do you say to the people who are a little squeamish about the, ahem, colorful language?
Davis: You have a sense of humor or you don’t. We want you to eat your f - - king vegetables — calm the f - - k down. We swear on the site because we swear in real life . . . we live what we do.
Holloway: Actually, we get more complaints about people who are f - - king tired of lentils.
Did you have your “Pretty Woman” moment yet — that feeling of revenge when someone didn’t believe in you before?
Davis: Most people don’t want to hear about your f - - king blog. But one day I’m cleaning up eggs off the grocery store floor when someone calls to tell me Gwyneth [Paltrow] is talking about the blog on Rachael Ray.
Holloway: Some people I used to fetch coffee for e-mailed to congratulate me and asked to meet up.
Do you expect a Don Rickles-like reaction from fans, who want you to berate the hell out of them and tear them apart on the street?
Holloway: I’m sure some are going to ask: “Please yell at me!” I think I’m up for it.