Oswald Cobblepot’s (Robin Lord Taylor) done it again. In Monday night’s episode of “Gotham,” “The Fearsome Dr. Crane,” it looked like certain death for the Penguin, when a tip from arch-nemesis Fish Mooney (Jada Pinkett Smith) led to Cobblepot being left for dead for what seems like the thousandth time.
But, as has become a recurring trend for the waddling creep, he was able to talk his way out of yet another situation that would have left the show without a major character. Let’s look back at some of the “certain” doom and excruciating pain that Cobblepot has survived over the past season through a combination of smooth talking, pain tolerance, preternatural luck and the occasional burst of extreme violence.
1. Beating and gunshot, ‘Pilot’
In the very first episode of “Gotham,” we get a clear look at Cobblepot’s ability to talk himself out of any situation. After betraying Mooney and Falcone to the Gotham City Police, and suffering both a crippling beating and being stuffed into the trunk of a car for his efforts, Cobblepot faces Jim Gordon (Ben McKenzie), who has been given orders to dispose of him on the waterfront. Preying on Gordon’s nobility, Cobblepot saves both himself and Gordon’s soul through some fast-talking. Gordon pretends to shoot him and pushes him in the river, warning him never to come back — but, of course, Cobblepot has other plans, and despite his severe injuries, manages to find his way back to Gotham City in time for the next episode, walking more and more like the Penguin he is destined to become.
2. Kidnapping, ‘The Balloonman’
Despite being a weak and not-very-intimidating man, Cobblepot’s sudden bursts of violence get him out of trouble almost as often as his quick wit does. After one of Mooney’s thugs recognizes him and drags him into a tunnel to bring him back for his punishment, Cobblepot is able to grab for his trusty pocket knife and do away with his attacker. Naturally, the very next thing the Penguin does is use his assailant’s money to buy a tuna sandwich. Hey, a murderer’s gotta eat.
3. Meat slicer, ‘Viper’
This time, Cobblepot’s mouth gets him into trouble, rather than out of it. After revealing to Sal Maroni (David Zayas), his new employer, that he used to work for Fish, Maroni’s response is to bash Cobblepot’s head into a table and then hold his face to a meat slicer while he interrogates Jim about their relationship. But, for once, the truth is what sets the Penguin free: When Gordon’s story matches his, Cobblepot narrowly avoids getting his pointy nose cut off and is accepted into Maroni’s fold . . . for now. Maroni, of course, doesn’t realize that the Penguin had a contingency plan all along, and is now acting as a spy for Maroni’s rival, Carmine Falcone (John Doman).
4. Brooch in the hand, ‘The Mask’
In “The Mask,” Penguin is reunited with Fish, who is aware of his deal with Falcone and is none-too-happy about it. Despite Cobblepot’s “peace offering” of a (stolen) brooch to Fish, he ends up with it buried in his hand. This time, the only thing that saves him is his own incredible tolerance for pain. For once, the Penguin keeps his beak shut, and Mooney is forced to let him go, heeding their mutual boss’ call for “peace.”
5. Electrocution, ‘What the Little Bird Told Him’
Ever-resilient, Cobblepot somehow manages to survive being fried by a few thousand volts of electricity and ends up in the loving hands of Jim Gordon and the Gotham PD, but not before dazedly revealing that he was on his way to meet with Falcone — in front of a stunned Maroni. But, proving that the Penguin is smarter than Maroni (actually, pretty much anyone is smarter than Maroni), Penguin convinces his “boss” that he is not working for Falcone — which gives him time to slip away and report to Falcone, foiling Mooney’s plans of a takeover.
6. (Another) beating, ‘Welcome Back, Jim Gordon’
Fish gets (and loses) another opportunity to put Cobblepot in his place when she comes to her club — which the Penguin has very briefly made his own after ratting her out to Falcone. It looks like Penguin is about to get beaten by Mooney’s henchman Butch (Drew Powell), but luck comes into play, this time. He’s rescued by the assassin Zsasz (BrenDen Polar) and a convenient hail of gunfire, which manages to completely miss the Penguin and send Mooney and Butch scurrying.
7. Car compactor, ‘The Fearsome Dr. Crane’
On Monday night’s episode, almost all of Cobblepot’s cards appear to have been played, when Maroni, one of the many people he has been double- and triple-crossing, finally realizes that his underling is actually working for Falcone and leaves Cobblepot to be crushed in a car compactor (presumably into a neat little cube of Penguin meat). But someone should have told Maroni that it’s not good to leave a victim with easy access to his cellphone. At the last possible second, Penguin sees a billboard for the junkyard and calls the number listed, managing to convince the owner of the compactor that Falcone will kill him if Cobblepot doesn’t get out alive. Naturally, the Penguin waddles free.