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Lifestyle

Here’s how to survive NYC’s coyote invasion

Welcome to New York City — where even wild animals have better ZIP codes than you.

On Tuesday, a coyote popped up in Chelsea and later led police on a chase through the pricey neighborhood.

The animal was first spotted at 8:45 a.m. near Holy Apostles Church on West 28th Street. No word on what the coyote was paying in rent.

The sighting made news, but one day soon seeing a coyote on your morning coffee run might become more common. Much like a wealthy foreign investor with money to burn on a luxury apartment they’ll never live in, coyotes have their eyes set on New York.

“New York is the last remaining urban center that hasn’t been colonized by coyotes,” says Ohio State associate professor Stanley D. Gehrt, an expert on the animals. “But they’re testing it right now.”

In March, another coyote was spotted running across the roof of a Queen building. Steven Spielberg’s sister also glimpsed one in her backyard in The Bronx.

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Gehrt says coyotes are adaptable and intelligent creatures. Man has been trying to wipe the pests out for centuries to no avail.

“If they had thumbs, they’d be thumbing their noses at us,” he says.

And contrary to what we might think, the city is not necessarily a terrible environment for them to live. Thousands of the animals live in Chicago, for example. The main cause of coyote death is humans, and no one is hunting or trapping them in the cities. Urban areas also offer plenty of food.

“A lot of people assume that when they move into the city, they take advantage of our garbage,” Gehrt says. “But they still serve as predators, and they hunt for their own food. The prey base is high in cities: mice and rabbits. You supplement that with city rats.”

And don’t think we’re safe from the coming coyote invasion just because Manhattan is an island. The critters are good swimmers, and they also have no problem crossing bridges.

“I’ve consulted with New York agencies on coyote management,” Gehrt says. “I was shown traffic cam footage from the bridges, and there were coyotes.”

Before you pack up and move to a bunker, however, know that coyotes are rarely a threat to humans. Gehrt estimates just five recorded attacks occur a year in the US and Canada, and all tend to be minor — just a nip or small bite.

But if you do encounter a coyote prowling around your brownstone, here’s what to do:

Even though it may be tempting to bolt, don’t run. Gehrt says you need to establish that you’re the dominant animal. (Again, put it out of your mind that your shower is in your kitchen and that you’re more sad than dominant.)

Make like Marina Abramovic. That is, maintain eye contact.

Yell, wave your arms or throw a rock in their direction. Walk toward the coyote. In almost every case, it will have fled long before you get there. Congratulations, you’ve protected your turf! (At least until Chase turns it into another ATM.)