Parents should be allowed to decide if their kids are safe or not. After all, they care more than anyone. And yet, the state Senate just voted to take that right away from us.
On Monday, it passed a bill that would outlaw letting kids under age 8 wait in the car without a guardian of at least age 12.
Maybe you think that makes sense. Maybe you are one of the few adults who did not spend at least part of your childhood waiting in the car while Mom ran into the store to grab a gallon of milk.
But most of us did.
We napped, or read, or sat there staring at the headrest. A friend of mine used to play “dentist” with her sister, with one of them leaning back in the bucket seat. As fun or frustrating as these waits were, no one thought our parents should be prosecuted for them. Letting kids wait in the car was totally normal.
Now, it’s up there with knife-throwing.
Republican Sen. Jack Martins of Long Island sponsored the bill, arguing that letting kids wait in the car can lead to “tragedy.” But if he really cared about saving lives, he wouldn’t outlaw kids in parked cars. He’d outlaw kids in moving ones. Car accidents are the No. 1 way kids in America die.
Of course, no one really suggests we stop letting parents drive their kids around, because that’s insane. We understand that while driving isn’t absolutely safe, it’s safe enough to allow. We don’t forbid every activity that “could” lead to tragedy, because if we did, we’d have to outlaw feeding our kids solid food, or letting them play on the monkey bars.
Intuitively, we understand the odds with most childhood activities. But we’ve lost that perspective when it comes to kids in cars. So let me try to restore it.
What are the odds that a child can survive a short wait in the car — the wait the state Senate (but not the Assembly, thank goodness) just voted to outlaw?
My research assistant, Evelyn Riemer, determined that from 2003 to the present, five children died in New York due to hot-car death, which means this happened less than once every two years. None of these children was over age 2. And none died while the parent ran an errand.
So preventing kids above age 2 from waiting in the car for a little bit is outlawing a practice that isn’t a problem.
And preventing a parent who lets her baby under age 2 stay in the car during an errand is outlawing an activity that isn’t perfectly safe, but is close to it.
It’s like prosecuting parents for letting their kids walk down the stairs.
My guess is that the senator cares about kids but didn’t think too deeply about whether this law is really necessary, or about its unintended consequences. Considering that more children die in parking lots outside cars than inside them, his bill might actually lead to more child deaths, not fewer.
At the same time, it will most certainly lead to harassment of perfectly decent parents who decided not to drag their kids into the store with them. I hear from these parents pretty regularly — they write to me distraught at facing fines or even criminal charges simply because they didn’t want to wake their 5-year-old who finally fell asleep on the way to the pharmacy.
Certainly, if you don’t want to let your own kids wait in the car, don’t. But those who choose otherwise aren’t reckless.
So if you see a child waiting in a car and are worried, please don’t call the cops and turn a family’s life upside down. Be a real Samaritan and wait a few minutes for the adult to return.
If the car is in front of the pizza shop or grocery, chances are this will be very soon. On the other hand, if the car is in the middle of the IBM parking lot on a Monday morning, do call 911, because that’s a case when it’s likely that the child was truly forgotten.
As for how to not forget your own child in the car — something that even loving, conscientious parents can do — the best advice I’ve heard is to put your purse, wallet or phone in the back, next to the car seat. That way, when you open the back door to get it, you’ll see your sleeping child.
Reminding folks to start doing that would go a lot further toward saving lives than state laws that tell parents how to raise their kids.
Lenore Skenazy is author of the book and blog “Free-Range Kids” and a contributor at Reason.com.