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Lifestyle

The difference between these twins almost tore them apart

Manhattan twins Samantha and Matthew Elisofon were born five minutes apart on Dec. 26, 1990 — but they couldn’t have been more different had they been strangers.

Why? Because Samantha was born with autism, and Matthew was not.

“It was challenging to watch Matt talk at the appropriate age, do what other children did, while Samantha struggled with things like muscular movement, language and eye contact,” said mom Marguerite Elisofon, 60.

Marguerite Elisofon with her book, “My Picture Perfect Family: What Happens When One Twin Has Autism.”Stefano Giovannini

She has recorded her kids’ experiences in a new book, “My Picture Perfect Family: What Happens When One Twin Has Autism.”

Growing up with an autistic twin can lead to a roller-coaster ride of emotions, from jealousy and anger to guilt and embarrassment.

Matt confessed to feeling “bad” that he was the one without autism, and said that he felt an overwhelming pressure to succeed because he was the healthy twin.

“I remember thinking, ‘I wish Samantha was smarter than I was’ and that if she went to Harvard, the heat would be off me,” he said.

He noted that even life’s simple moments could be hard, such as when he would ride the elevator with Samantha in their Upper East Side apartment building when they were young children.

He would never know what the trip would hold, depending on which of the two elevators showed up: the “bad” one that had gotten stuck, once, or the other one, which she thought was “good.”

‘As soon as I stopped being angry with Samantha, I became so much happier.’

 - Matthew Elisofon

“Either way, we were screwed,” recalls Matt, 25. “Samantha would always have a screaming fit if she was dragged into the bad elevator and, if it was the good one, she’d do her ‘elevator song and dance’ as loudly as possible.”

Later on, Samantha embarrassed her brother around other kids, such as when she crushed then-14-year-old Matt’s romantic hopes by regaling other teens with inappropriate stories of his “poopy” diapers as a baby.

Matt, now a documentary filmmaker, said that such antics caused him to resent his twin, a feeling he struggled to get past.

“As soon as I stopped being angry with Samantha, I became so much happier,” he said.

Samantha, an actress, who graduated from Pace University in 2014, told The Post, “I know I was a bummer for my parents and twin brother. Sometimes, I was out of control.

“I was so jealous of my twin brother — wishing I could do all the things that he did, have the friends he had — and there was this fierce competition trying to find the right words and not be shut out.”

Marguerite with her kids Matthew and Samantha.Stefano Giovannini

No one really knows why one twin may be diagnosed with autism while another is not. The cause can be a mix of genetics and environmental factors.

Only 30 percent of twins with autism have a sibling without the ailment, according to reports.

The Elisofons say their familial bond is a work in progress.

“We have a warm relationship, but it could be better,” admits Matt, citing the distance between Manhattan — where Samantha lives part-time with her parents and part-time with her boyfriend — and Hollywood, where he is based.

“We have a mutual respect and understanding,” Matt said.

Samantha chimed in: “And we really love each other.”