Warning: This article contains spoilers from Season 4, Episode 8 of “Married at First Sight.”
“Married at First Sight” has seen plenty of its arranged marriages end in divorce, but Tuesday’s Season 4 episode saw one couple call things off only two weeks after their wedding.
After a tumultuous honeymoon in Puerto Rico, Heather Seidel, 32, chose to end her fledgling marriage to Derek Schwartz without completing the traditional six-week experiment — despite his willingness to stick it out for the rest of the series.
Here, Schwartz, 35, spoke to The Post about his feelings towards his ex, what happened in their relationship behind the scenes, and whether he’d ever get married again. (Ed. note: This interview has been edited and condensed for length.)
When did you feel things start to go downhill with you and Heather?
The second day in the morning there was a comment or two . . . when she called me out and said I was a bit messier than she was, which seemed odd to say so soon after being with someone in our situation . . . “Hey, I don’t like this about you.” Where it really became evident was before we went on a bike ride. We had a good 45 minutes between doing anything on camera and she just wouldn’t talk to me. We were sitting on our bikes and she was texting and staring at her phone. I remember asking her if she wanted to go sit down and wait, and she said no. And when we went on the bike ride, as you saw on the show, she wasn’t riding next to me, so that’s where I asked her about it. It started to look more and more like there was an issue.
Was there any physical affection on the honeymoon?
The second night that we were together, we went and got a bite to eat and we walked back to the hotel with our arms around each other. And really that was it. Other than that, there was never any hand-holding, hugging, any affection between us whatsoever.
When you sat down with Pastor Calvin, did you know what Heather’s decision would be?
I didn’t expect her to move forward at that point. Right before that happened, off-camera there was a huge thing that went down where she basically threatened to leave the show. She was saying she was going to quit . . . and actually she walked out, and one of the producers had to tell her, “You can’t run away from this.” I was less than optimistic at that point. I was surprised that she said she needed the time to think about it, but then there might have been part of me that thought she might have come around.
While we were waiting for her decision, she requested that someone retrieve the wedding gift that I had in my car. I don’t want to say that killed the suspense for me, but . . . I was like, “Oh my gosh, that means she’s never planning on seeing me again.” That really, to me, seemed like a dead giveaway of what her intentions were.
Have you seen or spoken to Heather since the breakup?
I have not. I reached out before the first episode aired, I found her on Facebook and sent her a friend request and sent her a message saying, “Are you excited for the show to come on?” When we got our Twitter accounts, I reached out to her . . . Just trying to be friendly. I never heard back from her on either occasion.
What are your feelings toward Heather today?
It’s crazy that we were married, and I don’t know her well enough to have a feeling one way or another. I have no ill will towards her. One of the main things I wanted going into this was somebody who was open-minded. That was . . . from my side . . . our biggest disconnect. It hurt me so much that she wanted to focus on the things that she didn’t like and didn’t even give a chance to get to know me or to learn about the person I am, or why we were matched. I wouldn’t expect somebody who’s willing to marry a stranger to be so closed off and so judgmental.
‘I’ve learned more about Heather from watching the episodes than I learned about her when we were together.’
- Derek Schwartz
Do you think the experts made a mistake matching you two?
I don’t think that the experts screwed up. I just think that, maybe the way that the circumstances unfolded, it led us to bring out bad parts in each other. Heather’s biggest issue that she had with me was the smoking. I had spoken to her about it and she told me it was OK, and . . . that really wasn’t the case. Had she spoken to me and said, “Let’s address this and figure this out,” instead of holding it in, I would have done whatever it was that she would have asked me to do. I want to believe that maybe that would have made things go a little bit better, but who knows?
Do you want to get married again?
Yeah, absolutely. My parents divorced when I was a baby, so I didn’t get a great look at marriage growing up. My marriage with Heather gave me the opportunity to learn about other happy marriages. Although we didn’t have a lot of success with our marriage, so many people who love their marriage came to talk to me and offer me their insight and tell me how to make it work and why to make it work. My perspective and my views on marriage have changed totally since this process, and I definitely look forward to it one day, if I’m lucky enough to find the right person.
Will you appear in future episodes this season?
Yeah, the producers afterward let me know [that] regardless of what happened, we’re still going to be filming with [Heather and me] the exact same way as if [we] had stayed together. It was a little bit less intensive, but we still got together and shot different things, so hopefully [there will] be times where I’m still on the show and updates on how I’ve dealt with the decision.
Any other take-aways from the experience?
I really was hoping for the best and I put my all into it. I wish things had turned out differently. It’s sad that I feel like I’ve learned more about Heather from watching the episodes than I learned about her when we were together in person. I don’t know if that’s something I could have done differently. I’m sure she’s a great person, I’m sure there were wonderful qualities why she was chosen. I regret the fact that we didn’t get to learn that about each other, even if it was only for the six weeks.